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timmytoe

Bumfukk, NY

Member Since 2007

Followers 208 Following 279

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Tuesday Jul 05, 2011

Jul 5, 2011
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No matter how many friends you think you have, what it all really comes down to is you... Or rather me because let's face it, I'm talking to myself. I am the only person that will ever truly love me, so I must love me back. I spend more time with me than anyone else, 24 hours a day in fact, for the rest of my life, I'm stuck with me, nothing I can do about it. I can try to fill my hours with friends that don't give a fuck, or crowds of strangers, that care about as much as friends do.... But none of it matters if at the end of the day I don't enjoy being alone.
I spent the 4th of July alone, amongst the 3 million people in NYC watching the fire works from manhattans west side. Each and every one of my friends cancelled, but I was determined to see some god damn fireworks for the first time since I came home, which was 4 years ago, and 7 years since I last saw fireworks.

Writing this, I realize it sounds bitter, like why should I bother making friends if they all abandon you? Because despite being stuck with me for every day forever, I don't get along with myself enough to do that. I fight with myself at every decision I ever make.kjevkjnsvdicefnc I'm ranting, and not making sense anymore. B
Ahhhahaalllaalalalalallblahlnbahalah.

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