I've had a bit of a blogging hiatus, so I'm going to do a couple of old blogs (and not necessarily in order).
8/14: Review the last movie you watched. Well, I'm going to do both a movie and a TV show. The last movie I watched was Get Hard, with Will Ferrell. While it was entertaining enough, I guess I'm just getting tired of Will playing the same characters over and over. He may change names and antagonists, but it's the same guy playing essentially the same role. I'm also really getting tired of seeing that man naked. Dude, you're old, fat and hairy. It's not funny anymore. It's just gross now. He also seems to be trying to push boundaries -- for instance, fondling some dude's junk. I don't know if it's just raunchiness trying to make up for a lack of creativity, but I thought it was a bit much. Overall, it was a fairly funny movie, but I wouldn't recommend it if you've had no shortage of Will Ferrell movies.
The last show I watched was Hemlock Grove. It's a Netflix Original series (meaning that Netflix produced it so it doesn't actually air on television) and I'm now partway through season three. It's a pretty good show although they can sometimes introduce new drama and conflicts before explaining or resolving past conflicts, leading to a plot than can occasionally have too many conflicts for some characters. Maybe that just makes for a more suspenseful and riveting show, but I'd like a little conflict resolution, please! They've had a few questionable pieces in the plot too.
SPOILER ALERT!!
There's just a lot of weirdness going on. Their special effects are weird too. Sometimes, it looks really good, but then other scenes look like something from a low budget, 1970's sci-fi movie. Did your budget suddenly dry up? Other than that, it's a really good show, despite the creepiness and occasional pointless murder.
9/11: Best Advice for Dealing with Haters.
10/9: What's Your Confidence Boosting Secret Weapon?
While maybe surprising, my secret weapon is rather simple. Undies. I've had a few Sundies blogs and the like where I've posted a couple pictures, but I like wearing fancy, sexy undies. I like my man butt and I'm very proud of it. I like showing it off! So, even if I'm not showing it off in public, I'm usually rocking a pair of hot manderwear underneath, and it makes me feel awesome! For your Aussies out there, Croota makes one hell of a pair of underwear for man buns.
10/30: What's the Scariest Thing that has Happened to You?
Well, this would have had to be an experience I had back a couple years back. I don't want to be that guy "telling war stories," but I was deployed to Afghanistan on my first tour. We were coming back from a patrol we had done in our armored vehicles, and one of my responsibilities was to be a machine gunner in the lead vehicle on our convoys. I would stand up in a special hatch in the roof, scanning the road ahead and the surrounding areas for any threats. We were nearly back to our outpost and were about to travel through an intersection in the road. There was a tall wall the blocked my view of the intersecting road, and just as we were about to cross, a local, Afghan vehicle raced through the stop sign, headed straight for my truck. A tactic that insurgents sometimes employ is to take an ordinary car or truck, fill it full of explosives and have a suicide bomber crash it into one of our vehicles. It allows them to get right up close to us and detonate a huge amount of explosives with very deadly results. The vehicle was so close and traveling so fast that no one had any time to react. There are many times when I've been afraid of being wounded, injured, crashing, falling, getting my ass beat or being hurt, but that was the only time in my whole life that I genuinely thought I was going to die. The only time that I wasn't afraid of being hurt, but of being absolutely dead. I always hear about how people's lives flash before their eyes when they think they're going to die, but I didn't experience anything like that. In the half second that I had, I felt utter panic and helplessness. I didn't think about past regrets or opportunities I'd never have. I didn't think about my family or any other thing that you'd expect. Nothing but fear and the unshakable understanding that I was dead and that there was nothing I could do about it. I unconsciously half raised my hands in a futile attempt to shield myself from the coming blast as nearly every muscle in my body simultaneously tensed, and I gasped out, "fuuuu...!" before the white Toyota smashed into the front, right corner of our truck. I crashed into the machine gun in front of me and then ricocheted backwards, waiting what seemed like hours for the explosion. It never came though. The Afghan's Toyota had been smashed in, the passenger side and engine pushed into the middle of the car, the driver spared only because the steering wheel was on the right side of the car, rather than the left. We secured ourselves and investigated the crash, coming to find out the it wasn't a suicide bomber armed with thousands of pounds of explosives and his eye on 72 virgins in the afterlife, but the stupid son of a wealthy Afghan business man who was apparently in one hell of a hurry. Most of us later got a laugh out of it, but I was left wanting to laugh, cry and beat the hell out of that dumb shit.
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