man, what a crazy night. i was driving my bike cab downtown tonight, and just as i was heading back to my truck at the end of the night, this really drunk guy starts yelling at me and grabbing on to the back of my cab. i really fucking hate it when people do that, so i told him to fuck off. i rode up to the next light, i didnt think he was going to keep fucking with me, but then he comes up and fucking jumps in my cab. hes all "lets go faggot! take me to my car" i told him to get the fuck out, and he just went crazy and started coming at me and swinging at me and shit. i wasnt really scared he was going to hurt me, he was just really weird and i didnt want him to touch me. so i just kept backing up and letting him chase me around in circles. i could have very easily socked him in the face and ended the whole thing, but for all my violent thoughts, i still believe in pacifism. i really wanted to fucking smack him, but i decided it wasnt worth it. instead i just let him chase me and he fucking ate shit and face planted right on the pavement. i thought he would chill after that, but like a fucking terminator he kept coming at me. finally i got back on my bike and was able to outrun him a bit. (he was a fast motherfucker and i was tired) everytime he would come close to catching up to me he would fall on his face again. so.. he beat the shit out of himself. his whole face was all bloody and shit. as i was getting away i saw him punch the hood of some car then run away.
... then, as if all that wasnt enough, immediately after i got away from that dude, some dude in a car waves a wad of money at me and says "haaay, wanna make some extra money tonight?" i politely declined and said i too was "open minded" but not in that way. then i rode to my truck, which he followed me to. he parked on the other side of the street and sat there and watched me as i put my bike in my truck. he left and came back a few times, and started to follow me as i was leaving, but i was heading the other way.
...finally i get home, and my neighbor is outside my driveway drunk, with his two kids and needs a ride to the hospital to pick up his wife who "bumped her head". when we get there she had already left walking. we drive around for about 10 minutes before we find her, and she has a bandaid on her cheekbone like she got punched. she's all pissed and wont get in the car, so i take the guy and his kids back and drop them off outside my drive way, and now here i am. i dont know what the deal was, but it sure seemed like dude got drunk and hit his wife. fucking assholes, man. why do all the crazy people flock to me??? fuckin a! here's my advice for today:
DON'T BE A FUCKING KOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!