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timeoftheeclipse

Member Since 2003

Followers 25 Following 28

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Monday Mar 14, 2005

Mar 13, 2005
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i am once again an insomniac
i can no longer sleep before 4am
im working two jobs
im stressed
im exhausted
and yet i cant sleep
it makes sense
but its killing me
i look like hell
im grumpy
and im smoking way way way way too much
especially for someone who is only a casual smoker
i had today off, my first day off from both jobs in two weeks i think
i also have tomorrow (monday) off
but
in the evening i am going to a clients house
to host a wine tasting forher sorirty alumni group
itll be a drag
im not prepared
and i really dont want to drive way the hell out
to the burbs where she lives
i like being an urbanite
the burbs give me the willies

i wish i could sleep
frown

i think im going to go have another cigarette
frown

on the upside, i made $100in tips on saturday night
not bad for a dead ass shift and only my third night ever as a waiter
i hope i make somebetter money this week
if not ima be really really broke for my trip to se my sugar drop

im totally excited to go to calgary tho
first and foremost
i get to be with my baby
i miss her something fierce
since ive been working 24/7
and school has kicked intohigh gear for her,
we havent had much of a chance to talk recently
called her tonight and talked for a bit
but she was tired and needed rest for school tomorrow
im so excited, i cant even begin to describe
how happy this trip is going to make me
all the trouble we have been through
and all the bad times that we had to work out
will all jsut melt away
once i can wrap my arms around her tight
and kiss her like there is nothing else in the world that i was put here for
i love her
so much
i love her.

the other upside of going to calgary is
im finally traveling again
im not one to be too stagnant
i used to travel at least every six months or so
maybe a weekend road trip here or there
take a flight up to portland, drive to seattle to see the bjork show
then back home
but it has been almost two years since i traveled last
and im goign crazy
i did go to chicago with the fam last fall
but that didnt really count
cuz as much as i love my parents and sister
ist jsut not the same
and i need a fuckign vacation
the full time job is wearing on me
im burnt out
this october wil lbe five years there
puke
how is that possible?
i dont think things would be as bad as they are
except that my boss and i had a pretty juicy offer in front of us for a while
that has recently been yanked away
that has caused sometension between the two of us
and we are moving in different directions
and its causeing a lot of stress
everyone else at the store can notice it
its almost visible when we are in the same room together
so i just need to get away from there for a while
relax
spend some time with the most wonderful girl in the world
drink some good wine
and getmy life focused again


be well children
-m
kiss
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
viciousdemalice:
So the evil bitch of insomnia has struck you as well? I'm there with you pal, I'll sleep from about three in the morning to six, then stare at my ceiling for four hours then decide sleep wont grace me again until three or four the next morning, so I get up. Sucks about the lack of time off, once I went 17 days without a day off, so at least it's not that bad. Cool that you get to see your girl, can't imagine how it feels to be soooo far away from the one you love. I was lonely after ten measley days, your situation just boggles my mind, don't think I'd have the fortitude or strength to withstand it. You're a better man than me, aint that the truth.

Take it easy and try to drink some chamommile (i think that's right) and get some sleep.
Mar 16, 2005
godiva666:
See yes, I'm not really taking any of these people's comments to heart, hence my "FUCK YOU". I am in perspective. I hate being angry tho, it drains me so terribly. I so appreciate the love I find here on SG.
Have a great trip there with your girl! You deserve it!
Mar 20, 2005

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