Saturday Dec 04, 2004

0
why is my finger always on the self destruct button?
it always seems that when things start going well for me
whenever i get close to someone
i start to freak out a bit?
ive been hurt a lot in the past, who hasnt
but i think i started sabotaging everything as a way to keep people from hurting me
i dont want to do that anymore
i dont want to be petty
i dont want to be insecure
i want to stop hurting the people i love

im trying
im really trying to change
to make things work this time
not to freak out and not fuck this up
but im doing a damn good job of doing just that right now
i keep pushing her away
and she keeps pulling me closer and closer
i love her soooo much
but howmuch more can she take before she finally has enough
before she comes to her senses and...
no
there i go again
she loves me as much as i love her
she has shown much more strength and patience
than i have
but with her love i will get better
i know it


i love you stephanie
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
t3chmonkey:
Just for you we're forgoing my work because the next show-time after the 7 is 9:45, so there's a 7:45 out in Merriam. You in? You're probably at work right now. You probably have no idea I'm sending you this. I'm going to have to call you, aren't I? Yeah, I probably am. *Sigh* Me hate the telephone.
wynne:
Hahah, yeah, there he is above me again. wink

Hey, he's a sweetheart! biggrin

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