timeoftheeclipse

goddammnit
i just updated and my browser freaks out and shuts down before i can save it
oh well
its not like it was anything important anyway
went something like this:
ACK!!!!!!!
i cant sleep
and i feel like im starting to get into a funk
not sure why tho
maybe its cuz this is my down time
who knows
it sucks
i should probably try to sleep
but im not tired
well i am, but yo know what i mean

has anyone else heard the new version of imagine by a perfect circle yet?
its amazing
gives me chills

i also feel bad cuz i told someone i was done smoking
as some of you know, for someone who doesnt smoke, i have been smoking a lot recently
i told someone earlier tonight that i thought i was done with it, but i think i was wrong
mabe its jsut the fact that im in a pretty depressed mood right now
thats what i get for being up at 3am

i just want to be anywhere but here right now
i dont want to stress
i dont want to be broke
i dont want to be without the people who are closest to me
i dont want to be scared anymore
i dont want to be uncertain anymore
i dont want to be me right now

i want to curl up and hide
i want to be the person i know i should be
i want to be the person i act like i am
i want to shed my skin
i want to forget about the past and make my own future
i want
i want
i want
i want
i want
i want
i want
i want
i want

do i deserve any of the things i want?
beats the fuck out of me