Today is the day It is Carries Birthday and the day my plan is finalized.
I get home. I check my messages nothing. I check my email nothing.
I have to know if the package got where it was going. I was pretty snowy out there. And the roads were pretty icy. I dont want this to be all for not.
I call up the florist, and yes I still remember the number. I ask if the flowers I sent made their destination. She said they should have. I was good they made it, but no response from my friend.
I have to know what is going on. What she thought, what the hell happened to her the past month. I am just so confused that I need answers
I start reading her journal from where I stopped
Okay, her grandma died I understand why she had to go. I also got to see she was pretty upset about talking to her family. I feel like I deserted her in her time of need.
She got back on Nov 21, or at least that was the first entry she had for a while and it said she was back. I was right about that at least.
I read on. She has an entry:
AUTHORS NOTE: I cant remember word for word what this said. I am going to try my best at getting to what Carrie wrote:
She had this feeling. A feeling in the pit of her stomach. A feeling like she had to take a crap but nothing was coming out. She then realized that the feeling was that of angry. She was pissed. Pissed that someone has pissed in her playground. Pissed that she couldnt play in it anymore.
She wrote: So, yeah, you suck!
She was pissed that she had to wait until someone comes by to remove this sand and replace it with some sanitary sand.
Is this about me? Does she still want to be friends? The gleam of hope that I have is getting brighter.
I continue on. There are entries about her cat getting sick, her trip to Banff for her birthday. I am glad she had a great time. She deserves it. But nothing about the flowers I sent hmmm
I dont know why, but I must send her a happy birthday message. I want to wish her a happy birthday. I write:
Hi Carrie,
Happy Birthday!
Okay, I go back to her journal. I find that entry where she is talking about the playground and sand. I am going to post something but what does my hear tell me. It tells me it is my fault. I have to fix this. But she might not be talking about us. Well, let us give her some advice that would help her. Sounds good to me. I comment in her journal:
Yeah, I have been having that same feeling in the pit of my stomach too. But mine is that of sadness not anger. I have been action like a loser about all this too.
Maybe you should just talk to your friend. There might be some way that you can clean up the sand together.
I also go see Jerrys journal too. Just to see what he is up to
Sounds like he had a great time in Banff too. And he got the time off work. That is good. He needs some relaxation. He works hard.
I then add both of them to my friends list on the journal site. I want to keep up to date with what they are doing. The are my friends right?
I also go to the dating site. I find Carries profile, which is quite easy because she is one of the higher matches for me. I click on the friendship request. The next screen loads it doesnt say that the request has been sent it usually does I hope nothing went wrong on their end I will try again nope no message strange one more time just to make sure Yep there is the message that the request has been sent. Funny, what happened the first two times?
I do want to fight for this friendship and I will do everything I can to prevent the loss from occurring.
Time for some food tough.
