Nov 14
I still havent heard from Carrie yet. If I was going to a funeral out of town, I would have returned at one of three dates: Yesterday, this coming Thursday or Next Sunday. I will also think that she wont respond to my email until she is back for at least a day. That seems fair right?
But I didnt hear from her today. I guess she is not back yet
At work I felt dead inside. I mean super dead. It felt like I was dying. The picked up the poppy pin that I had on my desk and I poked myself with it. I felt nothing. My body is numb. I poke harder to fell anything. I fell nothing. I scratch myself with the pin on my hand, and again, and again, and again. I feel some pain, I am sort of bleeding, but nothing to bad. I can poke myself with my finger, it kind of hurts.
If this heals and Carrie has not contacted me yet I know I have lost.
This also gets me thinking that maybe I should get that tattoo I always wanted for my hand now. I dont feel too much pain. Hmmmmm Something to think about.
*************
I contacted my realtor Clyde today. I have decided to put my foot forward and start looking for a place of my own. He give me a number to a person to do a pre-loan assessment to see how much I am good for.
*************
Wow. Eddie Guerrero died yesterday. Wow. The tribute they give to him was awesome. He must have been a great man. It if funny how the death of person you dont even know can affect you. It is also wondrous how one person can affect so many others, co-worker, friends, complete strangers. Death put life into perspective.
It makes me regret ever writing that letter last week to Carrie. I look at it again Oh crap. I think I can interrupt this a goodbye letter. But it was never suppose to be a goodbye letter just a "here is what I want to tell you if we dont see each other for a while". I was giving her the power to say if our friendship was going to die or not. I wanted her to have full control. I wanted to be friends with her still. I have so much to learn from her I have so much to teach, don't I?
I just hope she still see a value in having my friendship
AUTHORS NOTE: Yeah, I watch professional wrestling. Bite me!
I still havent heard from Carrie yet. If I was going to a funeral out of town, I would have returned at one of three dates: Yesterday, this coming Thursday or Next Sunday. I will also think that she wont respond to my email until she is back for at least a day. That seems fair right?
But I didnt hear from her today. I guess she is not back yet
At work I felt dead inside. I mean super dead. It felt like I was dying. The picked up the poppy pin that I had on my desk and I poked myself with it. I felt nothing. My body is numb. I poke harder to fell anything. I fell nothing. I scratch myself with the pin on my hand, and again, and again, and again. I feel some pain, I am sort of bleeding, but nothing to bad. I can poke myself with my finger, it kind of hurts.
If this heals and Carrie has not contacted me yet I know I have lost.
This also gets me thinking that maybe I should get that tattoo I always wanted for my hand now. I dont feel too much pain. Hmmmmm Something to think about.
*************
I contacted my realtor Clyde today. I have decided to put my foot forward and start looking for a place of my own. He give me a number to a person to do a pre-loan assessment to see how much I am good for.
*************
Wow. Eddie Guerrero died yesterday. Wow. The tribute they give to him was awesome. He must have been a great man. It if funny how the death of person you dont even know can affect you. It is also wondrous how one person can affect so many others, co-worker, friends, complete strangers. Death put life into perspective.
It makes me regret ever writing that letter last week to Carrie. I look at it again Oh crap. I think I can interrupt this a goodbye letter. But it was never suppose to be a goodbye letter just a "here is what I want to tell you if we dont see each other for a while". I was giving her the power to say if our friendship was going to die or not. I wanted her to have full control. I wanted to be friends with her still. I have so much to learn from her I have so much to teach, don't I?
I just hope she still see a value in having my friendship
AUTHORS NOTE: Yeah, I watch professional wrestling. Bite me!
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Bad stoned....