I got up this morning, did my usually morning stuff. I went to check my email to see what Carrie wrote back. There were two messages.
The first one Carrie sent me:
Dont worry. I didnt punch digital Til. 
I will comment on this after I get some sleep.
Carrie
I was happy that she wasnt mad at me. This made feel good about myself. I was sure she would be a little pissed at me for thinking the way did.
The Second email:
Dear Til,
I think I understand what you are getting at. I am sorry that did not realize what you were doing and didnt pick up on your hints. I had no idea. I am sorry I did not appreciate what you did for me, but I dont ask friends to take of work for me. I am sorry for anything hurt that I caused you.
Right no I dont want a relationship with you, I just want to be friends. I am totally confused by all this. Reading this made me feel creepy and weird. I dont understand where all this angst is coming from. Hopefully this will all be better after some sleep.
Yours truly,
Carrie
She thinks I am blaming her but I am not. It was my fault
Confusing yeah, I guess it is.
CREEPY! Oh no! Oh no! OHNOOHNOOHNOOHNOOHNOOHNOOHNOOHNOOHNOOHNOOHNO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She thinks I am creepy! I have to fix this before I lose her. Anyone who has ever called me creepy has not been my friend for much longer. I must do something before I lose here friendship for good..
So I write back in the panic:
Carrie,
I dont blame you for anything that happened. It was not your fault. How can I blame you for something you didnt know about? The blame is totally mine.
Right now I only want you friendship too. That is all I ever wanted from you.
I shouldnt have told you any of this.
I suck!
Til
**********
I go to work. I think about all this. Right now she thinks I am creepy. I have to know what she thought was creepy. I have to work through this with her. I want to work through this. She is a great friend. I cant lose her. I just cant.
**********
I get home and check the mail Nothing
I write another message:
Carrie,
Sorry about the previous letter. I am just afraid.
It felt like I was loosing a good friend.
What part of the letter did you find creepy? Just curious.
Talk to you later
Til
I feel a little better but I am still scared that I am going to loose my friend 
