I watched 'The Abyss'(1989) last night, and in a somewhat critical way, relying on my time doing film at university and falling back on a history of film criticism, I thought: "What a load of shit!"
It is possibly the first film i have ever seen in which i have wanted all the characters to die within the first half hour.
And the one good bit, where the woman was dead, they managed to revive her and her brain damage didn’t seem to get any worse.
And what the hell is with the evil guy and the stupid moustache? Since when does Freddie Mercury take parts in terrible James Cameron films? Oh right, Hitler had a moustache, so must the evil Russian (are the Russians still the enemy JC?I think you are living in the past). Also, to be cool, is it really necessary to wear a hat underwater?
Surely you can be cool without the hat? And if you wanted street cred in a submarine, why not wear black leathers and sunglasses? It would fit the plot just about as much as wearing a baseball cap.
This could have been a great film, don’t get me wrong. If only it didn’t feel a bit like ‘Titanic’(1997) in space but underwater. However, as it stands, it was a piece of sentimental bullshit that didn’t even have convincing aliens.
The premise of this film just doesn’t work. Aliens underwater want Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio to live? Since when have aliens cared about this woman’s career? They didn’t help her out when she was making that straight to video classic 'Bad Girls' (1997).
So yes, I am very disappointed with my evening. Luckily, straight after 'The Abyss' was 'Candyman 2: Farewell to the Flesh' (1995), which is on the whole a much better film and features music by my favourite composer, the great minimalist Philip Glass.
It is possibly the first film i have ever seen in which i have wanted all the characters to die within the first half hour.
And the one good bit, where the woman was dead, they managed to revive her and her brain damage didn’t seem to get any worse.
And what the hell is with the evil guy and the stupid moustache? Since when does Freddie Mercury take parts in terrible James Cameron films? Oh right, Hitler had a moustache, so must the evil Russian (are the Russians still the enemy JC?I think you are living in the past). Also, to be cool, is it really necessary to wear a hat underwater?
Surely you can be cool without the hat? And if you wanted street cred in a submarine, why not wear black leathers and sunglasses? It would fit the plot just about as much as wearing a baseball cap.
This could have been a great film, don’t get me wrong. If only it didn’t feel a bit like ‘Titanic’(1997) in space but underwater. However, as it stands, it was a piece of sentimental bullshit that didn’t even have convincing aliens.
The premise of this film just doesn’t work. Aliens underwater want Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio to live? Since when have aliens cared about this woman’s career? They didn’t help her out when she was making that straight to video classic 'Bad Girls' (1997).
So yes, I am very disappointed with my evening. Luckily, straight after 'The Abyss' was 'Candyman 2: Farewell to the Flesh' (1995), which is on the whole a much better film and features music by my favourite composer, the great minimalist Philip Glass.
VIEW 23 of 23 COMMENTS
vicky:
Just thought i'd drop by and say hey. Make friends too? 
vicky:
You should hear back real soon. He's my boy and he's been suffering from lack of internet connection recently! He is desperatley searching for temping work in London but i think he would love to teach guitar instead!