tigerlily85

im having a bit of a personality crisis. growing up i wanted to meet my prince charming, fall in love and live happily ever after. and i still do, but theres a side of my that, basically wants to be bad. something tells me sleeping beauty didnt own a pair of handcuffs hehe. i dunno, i think its something ive always struggled with, the pressure to conform vs the pressure to be an individual.

in highschool i kind of floated from one group of friends to the other, trying to figure out where i belonged. i liked to drink, so i would hang out with the party kids, but i never wanted to get quite as wasted and ended up cleaning up after everyone instead. i smoked, but not enough to hang out with the stoners. i played field hocky, but after i got hurt and stopped playing, i stopped hanging out with those people too. i liked listening to music, but wasnt to the point of obsession like the scene kids. i basically was never into any particuliar thing to fit in with anyone.

my friends now are great, dont get me wrong. the issue for me now has to do more with me growing up and maturing. im gonna be 21 and not to sound cliche, but becoming a woman. i guess im just becoming more aware of my sexuality or like, sexual presence. i dont really know how to describe it. but im almost caught between the worlds of like, innocence and sexual deviants and not sure which i want to belong to really...