ha! lol 
no no you guys, you misread my last entry. the place WAS too good to be true. that's what i meant about the low ceilings and no windows and too ugly to be redecorated. even for only 4 hours of housecleaning a week, and no rent, i STILL don't want to live there. it was a dungeon.
SO. what i need good luck wishes for is to find a situation similar to that...except with lots of light and room and high ceilings...an uplfting space. you hear about folks finding these rad situations all the time...it's about time i found one.
as difficult as my current situation is, it's still acres better than what i'm finding out there. i love my room. it's perfect and just the way i like it. the whole house, while a little run-down, is still a totally beautiful old edwardian, with glossy wood floors and gorgeous moldings and light fixtures. we have the best view in the city. there's a garden next door, and a patio downstairs. after living here for 7 years, i still haven't seen a place i like better than ours. people often look at me funny when i tell them how long it's been. like somehow i'm stuck, or stagnating, or afraid of change. but i've gone through a tremendous amount of change within the confines of my lower haight haven. my house has held me through MANY ups and downs. i've always found a way to transform and rebirth without having to physically go anywhere. i think that idea of having to MOVE is an illusion. it's just making material what really needs to be happening mentally, spiritually.
nevertheless,i'm up for an adventure. of the positive sort. a new neighborhood perhaps, maybe in the sunbelt of san francisco. noe valley. or the mission. rent so low, or non-existent, that it's obscene. a space to reinvent myself, without being reminded by environment and people of who i used to be. i can't imagine living anywhere else. this has been my adult home really...i've been here longer than anywhere except the house i grew up in. in some ways, i feel angry. a little like i'm being forced out by my ex's passivity. but then, this is ultimately my choice.
so big wishes is what i need. of the ultra magical kind. i'm leaving what has been the perfect situation, so in order to feel excited and happy about it, the next place needs to up the anty. tell the first bird you see today, that tigerlily needs a new nest.
no no you guys, you misread my last entry. the place WAS too good to be true. that's what i meant about the low ceilings and no windows and too ugly to be redecorated. even for only 4 hours of housecleaning a week, and no rent, i STILL don't want to live there. it was a dungeon.
SO. what i need good luck wishes for is to find a situation similar to that...except with lots of light and room and high ceilings...an uplfting space. you hear about folks finding these rad situations all the time...it's about time i found one.
as difficult as my current situation is, it's still acres better than what i'm finding out there. i love my room. it's perfect and just the way i like it. the whole house, while a little run-down, is still a totally beautiful old edwardian, with glossy wood floors and gorgeous moldings and light fixtures. we have the best view in the city. there's a garden next door, and a patio downstairs. after living here for 7 years, i still haven't seen a place i like better than ours. people often look at me funny when i tell them how long it's been. like somehow i'm stuck, or stagnating, or afraid of change. but i've gone through a tremendous amount of change within the confines of my lower haight haven. my house has held me through MANY ups and downs. i've always found a way to transform and rebirth without having to physically go anywhere. i think that idea of having to MOVE is an illusion. it's just making material what really needs to be happening mentally, spiritually.
nevertheless,i'm up for an adventure. of the positive sort. a new neighborhood perhaps, maybe in the sunbelt of san francisco. noe valley. or the mission. rent so low, or non-existent, that it's obscene. a space to reinvent myself, without being reminded by environment and people of who i used to be. i can't imagine living anywhere else. this has been my adult home really...i've been here longer than anywhere except the house i grew up in. in some ways, i feel angry. a little like i'm being forced out by my ex's passivity. but then, this is ultimately my choice.
so big wishes is what i need. of the ultra magical kind. i'm leaving what has been the perfect situation, so in order to feel excited and happy about it, the next place needs to up the anty. tell the first bird you see today, that tigerlily needs a new nest.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
[Edited on Feb 13, 2005 7:18AM]
Take care!