this is not a test of the emergency broadcasting system. this is a real 'oh my god please help me i'm in dire straits what the fuck' honest to jeebus plea for some serious help. grab your shovels, put on your thinking caps and pull out that bag of pixie dust you were saving for a rainy day.

i need significantly more income. but more than that...

i need a new car. right, don't we all...but i mean I REALLY NEED A NEW CAR. i rely on my car for work. i need it to live in the city.

the piece of shit i have now, an 89 nissan sentra, is now reliably breaking down every 2 months. AND IT JUST BROKE DOWN AGAIN. since sept. of '03 i have put more than $4000 into it. that's enough to buy a new car...but i'm still paying off the debt for that, and have NO way of coming up with that much for a new one.

not to mention that i have stepped in financial dog poo with the irs and now owe them thousands as well.

i'm fucked folks. something has got to give. i can't keep driving this piece of shit, and i can't afford a new car.

so, i'm putting this out there:

1. does ANYONE know where i can get a new car? 5 yrs old or less? with little mileage and no fucking problems? like someone who would let me make installment payments of....uh...$20 a month? $50 a month? give it to me for free if i do a tap dance? (that's TAP, not lap).

2. right this second, can you wiggle your fingers and scrunch your forehead, and send me all the new car/ more money vibes you got?

i need a miracle kids. pretty please the universe for me.

i owe a lot of you responses...i haven't forgotten...i'll get back to you in a couple days after i finish banging my head against the wall.

thank you.