tigerlily

"your life is an occasion. rise to it."

this little phrase is what i will see every morning from now on when i wake.

i have been so shattered by grief that rather than remember the truth of a phrase like this, each day has been simply filled with the effort to get through. and then i forgot that i was just getting through and the shattered-ness began to feel like normal. and with the normalcy of coping has come the remembrance that there is more to life than sorrow and tragedy. and with the remembrance has come just a little more room in my heart to let the magic back in.

my father will not recover from his stroke. he is still alive, but his quality of life is gone. he is paralyzed on the left side of his body and is bed-ridden. he and my mother have moved out of our little home in the country and are living in an assisted facility, a little apartment. things have not reached a place of stasis, new problems with his health keep cropping up and my mom is about to lose it. but what has occured is a clearing of dust. at least for me, i am remembering that there is nothing for it but to keep on living. not just getting by. i have been so depressed, and at least for right now, i am ready to be something else.

finally obtaining an ipod has helped a lot. now wherever i go i have my own soundtrack. oh oh oh! i did not realize what i was missing out on. it's absolutely wonderful.

so i've been putting on my ipod and listening to music by yann tiersen, or sufjan stevens, or coco rosie and going out and taking pictures like this. it is spring, after all. time to emerge from the dark soil and reach for the light.









i've also got two new myspace pages:

for my burlesque troupe

for my accessories line "gibson girl antiquities"

and check out http://www.etsy.com/gibsongirlshop for my etsy shop too.

thank you for reading and thank you for all your sweet comments on my last blog. LOVE YOU!