tigerlilly77

Ok, firstly I do want to apologize for all the bitchy blogs lately, but they were honest, so I am not going to say sorry for how I felt, only for their presentation.

Anyway, as usual motivation is escaping me. Paperwork to leave this place behind is turned in, minus a copy of his orders which I will run back in an hour or so. I have to finish packing up shit around here, because the pre-inspection to vacate has been authorized to take place without me while I am driving back to Cali (instead of waiting around here for 5 more days.) I have got to figure out the Aztec for shipping, I need to drop it off in Tacoma empty with less than a 1/4 tank of gas tomorrow or Wed for it to make the outgoing Sunday shipment where it will take 21 days to get to Hawaii. But I also have a doctors appointment tomorrow afternoon at 2:45 so... yeah. Can I please be fired from this job? I keep submitting letters of resignation and they keep getting sent back rejected with kudos and apologies attached.

I want to drive... not to cali... just to drive. Oh and sleep. I feel like I have not slept in a year, I am so tired. I will admit I am proud of myself for having asked for the help I have needed. It is hard for me to do in general, and thank you to those of you who have been listening and telling me that I am a not-so- crazy crazy chick, as well as a thank you to those who have been honest with me and have said I was crazy at those times. I know I have been bitching a lot about people, family, friends, but even those I am angry with or hurt by I still care about and hope our friendships heal. And those who have not hurt me at all, I can't begin to tell you what that means to me. I know I have trust issues and that sometimes I get acused of being falsely enigmatic, or protectively mysterious, perhaps they are all right. I never thought of myself as mysterious or enigmatic till someone said that was how they saw me. Random, eccletic, geeky- definately... none of that is news to me.

As a mom I am going to take a second to share that my daughter lost a tooth this weekend while she was at my moms. It was her fourth on the bottom (2nd over on the right) I was not there for it. That sucked. I was really proud of her for it because she took it out on her own and that was something she was afraid of doing before, but I am the one who pulls them out or guides her hand. Needless to say the tooth fairy did still show up and surprised her.