Snakes Why did it have to be snakes???
All night long, snake dreams!!! Thank you 7-11 freak-o boy. All I wanted was a Slim Jim But as I hand over my dollars, I hear, oh, is that a python? I turn around, and theres freak-o boy with a big fucking snake coiled around his arm!
I hate snakes, Jock! I hate em!!!
And not only was he a serpent lover, but he was the kind of kid who you just know was dying to grow his first mullet.
Im sorry, but why is it that people who like snakes are always a little screwy? I mean, you kinda have to be to want to own a limbless personification of evil that eats cute little inoffensive creatures.
And dont give me any of your, the Bible just gave em a bad rap, man, bullshit. It didnt make women look too good either, but I still like them.
Snakes are creatures so lazy that even after millions of years of evolution, they havent been able to sprout some appendages. Like some morbidly obese freak living in a van down by the river, they unhinge their jaw to eat!!!
Oh, I know Im probably offending a few of you.
DEAL WITH IT!!!
I had snake dreams all fucking night!!!
Though I wonder Could it have had something to do with it being St. Patricks Day? What with the whole driving the snakes out of Ireland thing, I mean? I am very Irish. Blood memory, perhaps?
I once lost interest in a girl when I discovered that she was a snake lover. You wanna watch him eat? Its cool. Yeah, that was my cue. I was out the door faster than you can flick a forked tongue.
Anyway, in other news, the roommate is trying get back in my good graces. Hes been recording reruns of T.J. Hooker. Thats right, hes cozying up via the Shatner.
Bastard
Medieval Times tomorrow night! I shall wear my paper crown with pride.
All night long, snake dreams!!! Thank you 7-11 freak-o boy. All I wanted was a Slim Jim But as I hand over my dollars, I hear, oh, is that a python? I turn around, and theres freak-o boy with a big fucking snake coiled around his arm!
I hate snakes, Jock! I hate em!!!
And not only was he a serpent lover, but he was the kind of kid who you just know was dying to grow his first mullet.
Im sorry, but why is it that people who like snakes are always a little screwy? I mean, you kinda have to be to want to own a limbless personification of evil that eats cute little inoffensive creatures.
And dont give me any of your, the Bible just gave em a bad rap, man, bullshit. It didnt make women look too good either, but I still like them.
Snakes are creatures so lazy that even after millions of years of evolution, they havent been able to sprout some appendages. Like some morbidly obese freak living in a van down by the river, they unhinge their jaw to eat!!!
Oh, I know Im probably offending a few of you.
DEAL WITH IT!!!
I had snake dreams all fucking night!!!
Though I wonder Could it have had something to do with it being St. Patricks Day? What with the whole driving the snakes out of Ireland thing, I mean? I am very Irish. Blood memory, perhaps?
I once lost interest in a girl when I discovered that she was a snake lover. You wanna watch him eat? Its cool. Yeah, that was my cue. I was out the door faster than you can flick a forked tongue.
Anyway, in other news, the roommate is trying get back in my good graces. Hes been recording reruns of T.J. Hooker. Thats right, hes cozying up via the Shatner.
Bastard
Medieval Times tomorrow night! I shall wear my paper crown with pride.
VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
It's creepy.
"limbless personification of evil"
Think I'll get that tattooed on my back.
I'll have to cut off my arms and legs for it to be accurate, but small price to pay for a clever turn of phrase.
xip