tiberius

Wanna know what else was in that warehouse at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark? Well, here's the list :

1) The Roswell UFO.
2) H.G. Welles' time machine.
3) All my old Underoos.
4) Excalibur
5) Amelia Earhart and/or her airplane
6) The map to King Soloman's mines
7) Vanilla Ice
8) The Lock Ness Monster's bones
9) The airplanes from flight 19 (lost over the Bermuda
Triangle)
10) Jack the Ripper's knives and medical bag
11) The original Mona Lisa, which is in fact a self
portrait of Di Vinci
12) Walt Disney on ice (as in his frozen body, not the
characters on skates)
13) Hitler's penis (Who cares about his brain?)
14) The magic bullet (which can also sing and dance,
incidentally)
15) Whoever the hell is really in Grant's tomb
16) ROADMAPS!
17) The blueprints for the Great Pyramid
18) The lost Dead Sea Scrolls
19) The lost Mr. Ed episodes
20) The moon landing set
21) Kennedy's body double
22) Kennedy's penis double
23) Kennedy from MTV
24) The last dinosaur
25) Frankenstein's monster
26) Dr. Jekyll's formula
27) Dracula's coffin
28) John Holmes
29) The Brown Derby restaurant with its last patrons, including George Reeves and Dezi Arnez, left in some phantom limbo
30) The Lost Ark (Duh!)
31) The last zombies from Night of the Living Dead (It
was based on a true story, you know...(see Return of
the Living Dead))
32) Noah's Ark
33) Noah's bagels
34) The lost reels of "Greed"
35) The lost 10 minutes of "Sister Got Booty"
36) The archives of Atlantis
37) Poo, just a pile of poo...
38) The Hammer of Thor
39) The last of the cavemen frozen in ice
40) Menudo
41) Tesla's coil
42) Tesla the band
43) The Mirror that leads to Wonderland
44) George Lucass soul
45) The Lindberg baby
46) The Monolith from 2001
47) the meteor that brought the first living bacteria
to Earth
48) The hermaphroditic Black Dahlia's missing penis...
(OH, wait, never mind. Found it!)
49) Michael Jackson's first face.
50) Did I say the Holy Grail yet?
51) Monty Python's Killer Joke
52) The Martian War Machines
53) The great killer Land shark
54) A cold fusion generator that runs on AA batteries
55) A remote control that manipulates time like A VCR
56) A map to the center of the Earth
57) A yeti frozen in ice
58) A caged Bigfoot
59) David Caruso
60) Proof that Jesus did prefer people to call him
"Hey-soos."
61) A confession signed by Hitler stating that Nazism
was started on a dare
62) Flubber
63) Doc Brown's Dalorean Time Machine.
64) Blueprints proving the Titanic was actually her
already irreparably damaged sister ship Olympic, sunk
in an insurance scam gone awry.
65) A radio for speaking to the dead.
66) An M&M that melts in your hand... NOT IN YOUR
MOUTH!
67) Sleeping Beauty
68) Colonel Sanders
69) A formula sheet proving Bisquick is but one
ingredient short of concrete.
70) A joke nuclear bomb that emits a big "BOOM" flag
(Deemed very, VERY unfunny)
71) Enoch... The two faced Man!
72) Yo' Momma!
73) Yo Yo Ma...
74) a staple remover that actually removes paper from
staples... weird...
75) Daddy's soul donut.
76) The one really, really good Ed Wood movie
77) Elvis, still sitting on the pot after all these
years...
78) Billy Barty's shiny red coat! (Not THE Billy
Barty, of course)
79) A weather-manipulating device that can take you to
OZ.
80) A map to Sha-ka-Ree, Q'Itu, Vultavor, Eden...
81) Nick Cage's ability to make good career choices.
82) The Necronomicon though I did recently see it on
ebay...
83) That damn puzzle piece they pulled from Curious
George's stomach.
84) The invisibility device tested in the Philadelphia
Experiment
85) Walt Disney's plan to attach mouse ears to the
moon.
86) The Ben Stiller Show.
87) A duplicate of the Spirit of St. Louise. (That's
right, he never made it...)
88) A steam powered robot from the year 1864
89) An explanation to "Lost Highway"
90) The infamous letter from Ovitz to Esterhaus
91) Proof that Simple Simon wasn't such a simpleton...
92) Proof that FedEx uses a rudimentary transporter
device but hordes the technology to maintain their
corner on the market
93) A never ending Pez dispenser topped with a Dick
Clark head
94) The source of the Energizer Bunny's power: Liquid
EVIL!
95) A hot chick that digs short, hairy-backed, bald
guys with bad breath
96) Imitation margarine
97) A Popsicle that doesn't melt... even when you ask
it super nice
98) The last Betamax machine.
99) A Beers of the World gift set that includes a brew
from Arkansas...
100) The biggest rubber band ball in the world!