New rule: Slim Jims are not to be consumed before bed. The dreams I had Something about a flying Winnebago. Sure, if Id just seen Spaceballs, that really wouldnt be so unusual, but I havent seen that movie in years. Anyway this led me to waking up about an hour and half early, causing me to lay there and contemplate what the hell it was all about.
Less than a week to go, and I still have no thoughts on a costume I may actually be forced to invest in one of those this is my costume t-shirts. But that would be such a blow to the ego. I pride myself on coming up with good costumes. Man, I even dressed up Halloween 95 Suffice it to say, that the fall of 1995 is what I gauge all periods of nastiness by. Weve all had one: that one time where you could say, well, things cant get any worse, and really, genuinely mean it.
Once again I managed to achieve even greater heights in the art of apathy over the weekend. I ended up trading in a bunch of old videos and DVDs on Saturday. A responsible person would have taken the cash and run. Fortunately I am irresponsible and took the store credit and bought more like the good little consumer I am.
I got a double feature of Village and Children of the Damned, Return of the Living Dead II (Ive got part 1, so I was legally bound to get 2), Fulcis Zombie and the first season of classic Star Trek Which In wasnt gonna get. Ive already got the individual discs But when I imagined the shelf space I could save And then of course I can sell those old discs for yet more new discs!
Cmon people, sing it with me now: THE CIRCLE OF LIIIIIFE!!!
Sunday What was Sunday? Oh, I went and hung out a Golden Apple for a bit (Ever see Free Enterprise? Its the comic book store they go to.), said hi to Sharon, then back home, commandeered the TV and re-watched the Peacekeeper wars to spite my roommates. Bwahahahahahah
OK, and here's another offering. Not my finest, as... Well, truth is indeed often stranger than fiction...
BURGER KING ADD CAMPAIGN SCARING THE SHIT OUT OF CONSUMERS
While the fast food industry has seen an unprecedented period of restructuring in the wake of lawsuits brought forth by consumers and lawyers who claim the restaurant franchises have wantonly contributed to obesity in America, BURGER KING has chosen an approach that has shocked and confused many industry analysts.
Said analyst FRED WILLKINS, just about everyone from McDonalds to Jack in the Box reacted by offering healthier fare; you know, salads, Atkins friendly burger wraps. That kinda stuff. But the King Well, he chose to do a commercial depicting him waking up in bed with another man Its a little no, its a lot weird.
Though Burger King executives maintain that the ad merely illustrates the King as an old friend who is there to provide a delicious breakfast every morning, many are skeptical. Said consumer RANDY WALLCE, if I ever woke up next to one of my homies... there aint no Croissanwich in the world that would keep me from stomping his ass.
Were the advertisement an isolated factor, the official explanation may be enough. However, the now infamous internet attraction,subserviant chicken, only adds to the confusion over the new image being cultivated around Burger King. Its a chicken in lingerie. How the hell is that supposed to sell burgers, asked Wilkins. It gives new meaning to have it your way, thats for sure.
While official explanations shed little light, some believe that the new add campaign stems from the Burger Kings recent divorce from the DAIRY QUEEN. It was a rough period, said longtime friend and Palm Springs politician, MAYOR McCHEESE. He was gaga for that broad. He got her the diamond ring, the house by the sea; the whole shebang. Then one night the King comes home and finds the bitch in bed with another man at least I think hes a man. The Mayor believes the now infamous scandal involving Dairy Queen and the purple oddity known as GRIMACE pushed the King over the edge.
Hes on the rebound. But hes been outta the game for the last twenty years. This is the fast food equivalent of a middle-aged man buying a Corvette. Hes trying to look hip, but just comes off lookin like a jackass. McCheese believes that King is attempting to emulate the sexually charged and often times androgynous lifestyle of todays MTV culture. But like many so many retirees with piercings, the result is laughable, if not disturbing.
DEVELOPING
Less than a week to go, and I still have no thoughts on a costume I may actually be forced to invest in one of those this is my costume t-shirts. But that would be such a blow to the ego. I pride myself on coming up with good costumes. Man, I even dressed up Halloween 95 Suffice it to say, that the fall of 1995 is what I gauge all periods of nastiness by. Weve all had one: that one time where you could say, well, things cant get any worse, and really, genuinely mean it.
Once again I managed to achieve even greater heights in the art of apathy over the weekend. I ended up trading in a bunch of old videos and DVDs on Saturday. A responsible person would have taken the cash and run. Fortunately I am irresponsible and took the store credit and bought more like the good little consumer I am.
I got a double feature of Village and Children of the Damned, Return of the Living Dead II (Ive got part 1, so I was legally bound to get 2), Fulcis Zombie and the first season of classic Star Trek Which In wasnt gonna get. Ive already got the individual discs But when I imagined the shelf space I could save And then of course I can sell those old discs for yet more new discs!
Cmon people, sing it with me now: THE CIRCLE OF LIIIIIFE!!!
Sunday What was Sunday? Oh, I went and hung out a Golden Apple for a bit (Ever see Free Enterprise? Its the comic book store they go to.), said hi to Sharon, then back home, commandeered the TV and re-watched the Peacekeeper wars to spite my roommates. Bwahahahahahah
OK, and here's another offering. Not my finest, as... Well, truth is indeed often stranger than fiction...
BURGER KING ADD CAMPAIGN SCARING THE SHIT OUT OF CONSUMERS
While the fast food industry has seen an unprecedented period of restructuring in the wake of lawsuits brought forth by consumers and lawyers who claim the restaurant franchises have wantonly contributed to obesity in America, BURGER KING has chosen an approach that has shocked and confused many industry analysts.
Said analyst FRED WILLKINS, just about everyone from McDonalds to Jack in the Box reacted by offering healthier fare; you know, salads, Atkins friendly burger wraps. That kinda stuff. But the King Well, he chose to do a commercial depicting him waking up in bed with another man Its a little no, its a lot weird.
Though Burger King executives maintain that the ad merely illustrates the King as an old friend who is there to provide a delicious breakfast every morning, many are skeptical. Said consumer RANDY WALLCE, if I ever woke up next to one of my homies... there aint no Croissanwich in the world that would keep me from stomping his ass.
Were the advertisement an isolated factor, the official explanation may be enough. However, the now infamous internet attraction,subserviant chicken, only adds to the confusion over the new image being cultivated around Burger King. Its a chicken in lingerie. How the hell is that supposed to sell burgers, asked Wilkins. It gives new meaning to have it your way, thats for sure.
While official explanations shed little light, some believe that the new add campaign stems from the Burger Kings recent divorce from the DAIRY QUEEN. It was a rough period, said longtime friend and Palm Springs politician, MAYOR McCHEESE. He was gaga for that broad. He got her the diamond ring, the house by the sea; the whole shebang. Then one night the King comes home and finds the bitch in bed with another man at least I think hes a man. The Mayor believes the now infamous scandal involving Dairy Queen and the purple oddity known as GRIMACE pushed the King over the edge.
Hes on the rebound. But hes been outta the game for the last twenty years. This is the fast food equivalent of a middle-aged man buying a Corvette. Hes trying to look hip, but just comes off lookin like a jackass. McCheese believes that King is attempting to emulate the sexually charged and often times androgynous lifestyle of todays MTV culture. But like many so many retirees with piercings, the result is laughable, if not disturbing.
DEVELOPING
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
perhaps i shall be the cardboardbox from Metal Gear Solid for Halloween. saw it in a magazine, and it seems friggin perfect.
I think the trick is going to be having her prove to us that she ran the checks on these people before they moved in. We were thinking of approaching it like this.... Hey landlord, all of us current residents would like you to prove to us that you're running the necessary checks on all new tennants. If you can't/won't prove this to us, we're taking you to court.
Again, I don't know if we can do this or not, but if nothing else, we want her to realize we're not going to stick around to live next to drug dealers.