FINE! I'll "update"!

My cat Seven has slain 2 birds in 2 days. She's cuddly and tiny (I think maybe she might even be a little runty) by day ... but she's a cold blooded killer by night. Of all birds to slay, naturally she slays my most favoritest type of bird that frolics and flies around our house ... the beloved Blue Jay. She bit it's neck and tore is azure feathers from it's dying flesh. As for the other bird she killed ... it's body has not been found. The only evidence of it's passing is a swath of feathers and bird-bits all over the bathroom floor. I'm sure it's rotting corpse will reveal itself in due time in the form of a putrid stench, the source of which can never be located. And I can't ask Seven to tell me, because I don't speak cat ... and I doubt her cerebral cortex is even evolved enough to understand spatiotemporal location even if I *could* speak her Killer's Tongue. Ah well.

I recently got a job writing for the Portland Mercury. They don't pay me, but so far it's turning out to be a lot of fun.

I'm going to go eat now.

Andrew