tiassalada

I was going through old myspace blogs and found this, enjoy.
So you want to be a Model?



1. Never, EVER under any circumstances refer to the person you are modeling for as "your designer, and or "my designer" We do not like this and it tends to drive us all up a shit creek without a paddle. You would not like to be called someones "bitch or ho" and so there for referring to us as "my designer" basically translates to the same thing.

2. If you are modeling an outfit for runway or pictures you generally DO NOT get to pick what you are wearing. Sometimes we will bring a few extra pieces to see what works well on you, sometimes your input is taken into account but generally it will be ignored. If you do not like what you are wearing and don't want to do the show and or photographs you can leave. You probably know where the door is since it was how you got in in the first place.

3. If you choose to still do the show and or photographs do not whine, complain and or bitch about it. Suck it up and smile and do what you are told. I mean, you're a model after all, right? Sell the damn cloths and save the attitude for someone who deserves it.

4. Show up for your fittings on time. If anything try and be a bit early if you can. If you have to wait your turn do it and deal with it. Don't interrupt the process, this is a bad idea. Generally there are scissors, pins, and seam rippers involved. You don't want to piss us off during this time. We are are probably already in bad moods to begin with since the caffeine is probably no longer working. Stand still and be quite. Lipping off to someone who is holding a pair of sharp Ginger scissors is just a BAD idea.The more you squirm around the longer it will take. Pretend you are having a "time out". We will let you know when it's over.

5. Show up to the fitting with coffee for us or offer to go and get us some if you are waiting to be fitted, THIS will make you get on our good side. If there are people a head of you then you will have to wait your turn. You know what waiting your turn is right? I take it you have stood in line at the grocery store.

6. If you are running late, PLEASE call and let us know what is happening. We understand that things come up. It's a simple phone call, and I am sure you know how to use the phone. DO NOT just not show up. Don't email, we are probably in front of a machine or another model so the phone tends to work the best.

7. Do not call the designer the very last minute before a show or a fitting and ask if they can come get you, pay for your cab fair or send someone to get you. We are not a cab service. Walk if you have to, we know your legs are not broken, I mean if they were, how the hell could you be doing runway or posing for photographs?

8. Just because a designer has used you in the past does not mean that they will use you again, and or ever. Generally this happens because you have acted like a premadonna, drunken idiot or a careless brat and we don't care to deal with you anymore. Lot's of things have an expiration date, sometimes this is one of them.

9. When in hair and make up DO NOT bitch, moan or whine to these people either and DO NOT tell them how to do your hair and make up or what YOU want. DO NOT give them instructions, they know what they are doing and have been hired for just that reason. If you don't like your make up you can go wash your face after the show. It's not like the stuff is being tattooed on. Don't like your hair? Go home and wash it as well. It's not like we are requiring you to have your passport picture taken this way. If there is not a sink or shower near by then you can always put a paper bag over your head.

10. Generally we do not allow you to smoke around the clothing. Once again, deal with it. It won't kill you to go without a cigarette for a while.

11. Do not sneak in booze back stage, we will find out and take it away from you and save it for ourselves to drink later. And don't think we will share it either, we won't. Besides, most places have a strict rule about bringing in alcohol and will fine your ass if they find out about it. If such an act should occur you are the one paying the fee not us, we can't write this stuff off on our taxes you know.

12. Do not bring in drugs to the production. This is even worse. If a bust should occur then the club is held responsible for it and may be shut down. Besides, Studio 54 is closed and "Heroine Chic" went out long ago. You are however welcome to shot, snort, and smoke whatever substances you like and pop what ever pills your heart desires AFTER the production but NOT ON the premises where the show was held.

13. If the designer and or other people involved in the show tell you "no drinking" before the show they mean just that. Generally we don't care what you do afterwards, just make sure that you get out of the cloths before you go and get hammered. You know the term "You break it you buy it"? Well in the fashion world it goes like this "You spilled on my gown, have fun paying it off, it's yours now, will you be paying with paper or plastic"?

14. If you are new to the modeling world and are curious how the world of fashion is run go and rent the movie "UNZIPPED'. It's a crash course about the fashion world, six months of a production goes into an a hour and a half of video. It's worth the watch, you may however want to have a stiff drink while viewing this masterpiece. It ain't no PG 13 family flick.

15. You should own a few pairs of black heels and always bring an extra pair of shoes with. Heels always break during the worse time, and a show is sometimes one of them. You don't have to spend hundreds here, you can go to Payless and get some simple and inexpensive ones.

16. Can't walk in heels or stand still, you better learn how and QUICK too!!!

17. I was not "asking" you in the statement above.

18. If the designer was nice enough to cut you a deal on one of the garments do not nag them about this at the show. Wait a few days after the production and them give them a call or drop them an email. We are probably having some trouble remembering our own names at this point, a few days of rest will bring us right back to reality and we will be more than happy to deal with you then.

19. Try to avoid getting into cat fights back stage. If you must beat each others asses then do it after the show. But please make sure you are out of the designers cloths, and please take it outside and avoid all press cameras of all sorts when trying to kill one another.We are trying to get our garments in the paper, not two models tearing out each others hair.


20. If you think that we somehow won't find out about some stupid shit you pulled you are sadly mistaken. WE WILL. News in the fashion and modeling industry travels faster than DSL and gets back to us even faster.

NOTE:
......If you have read the last twenty statements and are pissed off and not laughing at even a few of then
you should probably find something else to pursue. Have a nice day, now drive on through. Hey you could always become a designer you know