um...ok. Well, heh....I said some things that I really meant, but probably shouldn't have said and found myself in the psych ward within 48 hrs. Note to self: Never threaten to kill an NCO, even if you mean it.
Now, I was justified to an extent. This was not an unprovoked event....and, technically, I was the one that requested to leave due the fact that I was convinced something.."unforturnate" was going to happen. My job is not in danger and since I have a long track record of pursuing treatment for my Mood Disorder most of the doctors seem to be impressed with my level of self awareness. Lets just see if that holds when I get back to alaska and have to deal with my unit. I doubt I will have any issues, but I wouldnt be surprised if my unit is looking to boot me.
It just all piled up. The marriage, not seeing the boys very much over the last 2 yrs, the unconfirmed death of my father and the stigma of having a mental health issue from my chain of command. I finally got angry, I finally spoke my mind.....and I think I scared them a bit.
Its hard enough for me to do normal human interaction without stupid people poking at me all the time.
Yes, I have a tolerance issue. If its not logical...its not logical. I dont really understand most social pleasentries. I dont see the need to smile if im not happy or curve my tone to the liking of others. I have little consideration for others comfort zones. If my manner of speach, tone, posture and expression make you uncomfortable...maybe you should grow a spine and figure out that is not about you. Its just the way I am.
.....but people are sensitive and I dont care to be isolated. So, I continue to learn how to be a normal, mondane (sp?) cog that everyone can be comfortable around. Honestly, I suck at it. For the handful of people who understand that I am not some sinister mind looking to manipulate all things around me I am thankful.....but most of them are long since lost to me via circumstance. Seeing the world for what it is can be a curse, being completely honest with everyone including yourself, can be a curse. Which is perfect because im pretty good a the worst case senerio
The beatings will continue until morale improves
Now, I was justified to an extent. This was not an unprovoked event....and, technically, I was the one that requested to leave due the fact that I was convinced something.."unforturnate" was going to happen. My job is not in danger and since I have a long track record of pursuing treatment for my Mood Disorder most of the doctors seem to be impressed with my level of self awareness. Lets just see if that holds when I get back to alaska and have to deal with my unit. I doubt I will have any issues, but I wouldnt be surprised if my unit is looking to boot me.
It just all piled up. The marriage, not seeing the boys very much over the last 2 yrs, the unconfirmed death of my father and the stigma of having a mental health issue from my chain of command. I finally got angry, I finally spoke my mind.....and I think I scared them a bit.
Its hard enough for me to do normal human interaction without stupid people poking at me all the time.
Yes, I have a tolerance issue. If its not logical...its not logical. I dont really understand most social pleasentries. I dont see the need to smile if im not happy or curve my tone to the liking of others. I have little consideration for others comfort zones. If my manner of speach, tone, posture and expression make you uncomfortable...maybe you should grow a spine and figure out that is not about you. Its just the way I am.
.....but people are sensitive and I dont care to be isolated. So, I continue to learn how to be a normal, mondane (sp?) cog that everyone can be comfortable around. Honestly, I suck at it. For the handful of people who understand that I am not some sinister mind looking to manipulate all things around me I am thankful.....but most of them are long since lost to me via circumstance. Seeing the world for what it is can be a curse, being completely honest with everyone including yourself, can be a curse. Which is perfect because im pretty good a the worst case senerio
The beatings will continue until morale improves
Fuck everybody else dude. Don't ever change yourself to placate others. Just because I'm not smiling doesn't mean I'm not happy asshat
I hope your unit doesnt try to boot you.
It does sounds like you have been having a bad time, a person can only take so much.