I feel caught between worlds.....but then I have always been caught. The wonder of a child and the anger of a demon. I used to say that ones potential for evil was proportionate to their potential for good. Now I say that potential and be crushed under the pressure to be moral and correct. A bloody insanity is what oozes from under it. Its a dark winding alley, morality. Every well meant turn somehow leads to an even darker circumstance. Standing between these soot covered brickwalls...this dark wet hell hole, I could look up to the clouds and light and say 'I was trying to do the right thing.' Instead I light a cigar and keep walking, gripping my self-righteous determination...wielding it like a lethal weapon.
You start to wonder what the hell you are looking for. I know I cant get away from it...its tattooed in my skin for a reason. The demon will never leave my back.....it will always be apart of me. From inside this place everyone is clear, at least what they could do to me is clear. I am reacting to my fear, swinging and often hitting. Yet, never the right target and never the right time. When I lash out my weapon shatters everytime, hitting everything and everyone. Its always a mess, Im always saying sorry, im always cleaning up. I could turn around and embrace the beast that is chasing me...I could hand my soul over to my natural state. Yet, the angels usually start to sing about that time and I dont know whether to be thankful or curse them for making it harder.
There is no such thing as a gentle version of my breed. We destroy and expose, it is our purpose. The fact that we are not dumb animals only makes the matter worse. We are hunters, predators keen to the dark, sharp to the unseen. We are built to take apart. Our hands are oversized, our shoulders broad, our bones are thick and heavy, our faces are rigid and tense. Our minds are maddened with understanding and awareness. Our instincts miss nothing though I wish this wasn't so. The other breeds fear us when we speak, yet they fear us more when we dont. They ask us to be one of them, but show us no respect. My breed is proud, not by choice. My breed feeds on fear....though I am in recovery. When I smell it, my teeth sharpen and my eyes become slits.
Who of you are fearless? Who of you can walk with death? Who of you can sleep with darkness? If I show my natural form will you accept or hide? The universe has given me only one option...silence. Somewhere someone has a key to this place.
You start to wonder what the hell you are looking for. I know I cant get away from it...its tattooed in my skin for a reason. The demon will never leave my back.....it will always be apart of me. From inside this place everyone is clear, at least what they could do to me is clear. I am reacting to my fear, swinging and often hitting. Yet, never the right target and never the right time. When I lash out my weapon shatters everytime, hitting everything and everyone. Its always a mess, Im always saying sorry, im always cleaning up. I could turn around and embrace the beast that is chasing me...I could hand my soul over to my natural state. Yet, the angels usually start to sing about that time and I dont know whether to be thankful or curse them for making it harder.
There is no such thing as a gentle version of my breed. We destroy and expose, it is our purpose. The fact that we are not dumb animals only makes the matter worse. We are hunters, predators keen to the dark, sharp to the unseen. We are built to take apart. Our hands are oversized, our shoulders broad, our bones are thick and heavy, our faces are rigid and tense. Our minds are maddened with understanding and awareness. Our instincts miss nothing though I wish this wasn't so. The other breeds fear us when we speak, yet they fear us more when we dont. They ask us to be one of them, but show us no respect. My breed is proud, not by choice. My breed feeds on fear....though I am in recovery. When I smell it, my teeth sharpen and my eyes become slits.
Who of you are fearless? Who of you can walk with death? Who of you can sleep with darkness? If I show my natural form will you accept or hide? The universe has given me only one option...silence. Somewhere someone has a key to this place.