thursday

i'm snarfing up another package of that fake mozzarella that i love so much.
how. can. it. be. so. good?!

so, what you have all be waiting for.
the garlic tampoon MIGHT have worked but it's hard to say because the very next day i had to wear a normal tampon so that i could function in society as a menstruating human.
what you may not know (gentlemen) is that sticking a dry, bleached wad of cotton fibers into your hooha will exacerbate vagina infection symptoms exponentially. so, the period in which my initial symptoms abated was quickly overshadowed by the pure torture that ensued. in the long run, i had to break down and buy some friggin' monistat and my first package of pads in almost a decade.

as for tasting garlic.... i might have psyched myself out. i kept thinking that *maybe* i tasted garlic but i couldn't be sure. i also had to wonder if i was just getting wiffs of my garlicky vag cuz LEMME TELL YA, taking a leak was like hanging out in an italian restaurant. smelled great!

when my boyfriend came home (who i'd been updating via text the whole time) he let me know that though i wasn't sure if i could taste garlic, there was nothing but pure garlic vapor pouring out of my mouth. AWESOME!!

moral of this story, a. apparently i have an EXTREMELY high garlic threshold, b. there is a distinct connection between mouths and vaginas which makes me wonder.....