thunderbolts

I heard you on your rant. Although, by and large I haven't minded being the go-to person for support and advice, sometiimes, dispensing advice can be a thankless task. The irony is that after I spent a great deal of time trying to help one particularly needy person over the course of this past year - she turned out to be a toxic individual that needed a villian to blame for all of the poor choices that's she made in her life. She went on a witch hunt - made up evidence that I had sent her a malicious email - and tried to get me banned from the site. All because when she tried to push a dying, elderly family member of her fiance out of their lives - because the family member was inconvenient for her - I "foolishly" suggested that she exercise some compassion and let the family member live out their remaining days in peace. Since that didn't fit into her plans - it was "off with my head".

Thankfully, all her lies were exposed by mutual friends and I was validated. And can you believe this? She's still on the site trying to pretend that she wasn't caught in the web of her lies - and continues to create more drama every chance she can get.

I look at it this way - we are all here for some purpose. There are people who like to believe in angels. I don't believe in angels - I believe in other people and the affect they can have on our lives. We all need a safe place to go and talk about our problems to someone who will have the compassion to spare us the time, help us through the rough patches, and not be judgmental in the process.

It sounds as if you've become the "safe place" for a lot of people. That says a lot about you. It says that you are trustworthy and wise - not bad things to be. It's a funny thing, but when people want to have "fun" they by and large will gravitate to the things that will do them harm - they eat the wrong foods, drink in excess, and/or use recreational drugs. Yeah, that's how we "treat" ourselves. There's precious few of us that will consider a bowl of oatmeal - that's good for us - as a treat.

When they want to have fun, they are going to gravitate to the people who have the same mind set, and you confessed that you weren't into alcohol, or drugs, etc.. They may even feel uncomfortable around you talking about last night's "bender" and how much fun they had, because they look up to you and don't want you to see them in a less than positive light.

But when they are in real distress and need advice - they head straight to you. The person they trust and look up to - thier "safe place". It can be a real burden. Youv'e become their emotional "sin-eater" or take the place of the "confessional". And, yes it can be really depressing.

As a self confessied hermit, you are only going to break that pattern by reaching out proactively and contacting these individuals to "shoot the shit". I know its hard to extend yourself - but that is literally the only way you will escape....

Here's hoping that you have a truly wonderful Thanksgiving....

a fellow time traveller. awesome. how is canada good sir?