insomnia + internet = intersomnetia.
....yeah, I need sleep.
....yeah, I need sleep.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
sometimes that motherfucking insomnia just burns me out.
sometimes I wake up and hate the whole human strain.
sometimes I can't stop thinking about dead friends ..so many of them and so much to remind me.
but all that is nothing, it doesn't mean shit.
depression will always come and go, and there will always be something around to bring me down
.....if I look...
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sometimes I wake up and hate the whole human strain.
sometimes I can't stop thinking about dead friends ..so many of them and so much to remind me.
but all that is nothing, it doesn't mean shit.
depression will always come and go, and there will always be something around to bring me down
.....if I look...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
jovanka:
Well, I try to use depression as fuel. The best art, writing and film has come out of profound personal pain and tragedy - we have only to look to Edgar Allen Poe for that. It's important to be happy but you have to grieve, be pissed off, jealous, insecure and sadder than hell from time to time in order to appreciate the good times.
Be down if you need to, just don't get caught in the undertow.
Watch Wild at Heart and snuggle with your sweetie, that'll be a nice bandaid.
Be down if you need to, just don't get caught in the undertow.
Watch Wild at Heart and snuggle with your sweetie, that'll be a nice bandaid.
jovanka:
It's not that bad actually. I've been in a funk lately too so perhaps I was projecting some of the advice I need to give myself. Today's too stressful to allow me to be depressed. Dammit, I wanna mope for fuck sake! 
today was a good day, I went into work a little early (for once) in an unusually good mood, had time to chill and relax and hang out with Micheal Madson for a bit before getting things moving, I got to begin work on a nice back piece ...
... ok you don't care about my day anymore do you ...Mr Madson has been getting...
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... ok you don't care about my day anymore do you ...Mr Madson has been getting...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
need2xcap2:
just stoping by to tell you:
Happy Valentines Day!
Happy Valentines Day!
jovanka:
Ah. progress. It's good for the soul. I wanna see! Happy VD bud.
The Fort (Fort Goof)
I lived in a fort for almost 5 years ..well at least it was called "The Fort"
there were two incarnations, the first was originally an above store one bedroom apartment which had been gutted, most of the walls replaced by steel cage and a hole cut into the ceiling with a small staircase hung by chains about 2 feet off...
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I lived in a fort for almost 5 years ..well at least it was called "The Fort"
there were two incarnations, the first was originally an above store one bedroom apartment which had been gutted, most of the walls replaced by steel cage and a hole cut into the ceiling with a small staircase hung by chains about 2 feet off...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
thebacchanalian:
you wrote it down! ah, dammit - that rules. and is mad.
you have go to murmur.
this is history. better, this is part of a psychogeographer's wet dream.
you have go to murmur.
this is history. better, this is part of a psychogeographer's wet dream.
gasmaskboy:
w000t fort goof...
I'm back by the way...
I ♥ U
I'm back by the way...
I ♥ U
Orlificate: Or*lif"ic*ate,to make up a word [See Orlification.] the invention of a word.
I just made that up.
I just made that up.
VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
deezaster:
hey, thanx for the birthday wishes!! 
I was just looking at your pics, love the one of you with Steve Goof in '91... tee hee...
I must say that there is something very comforting in the fact that EVERY single time I take a walk down Queen West, there he is - Steve on his trusty bike, giving me a silent nod with that mischevios little smirk/half-grin, mixed with a look of complete surprise... It's great. Makes me feel at home, in a weird kinda way...
I don't get that feeling in my current neighbourhood, that's for sure... I only pass strangers on the street, and none of us care enough to acknowledge each others' presence... We barely even notice.
Aaaaaaaaaahh... I miss my old hood
Such colourful characters... Good times...
I was just looking at your pics, love the one of you with Steve Goof in '91... tee hee...
I must say that there is something very comforting in the fact that EVERY single time I take a walk down Queen West, there he is - Steve on his trusty bike, giving me a silent nod with that mischevios little smirk/half-grin, mixed with a look of complete surprise... It's great.
Makes me feel at home, in a weird kinda way...
I don't get that feeling in my current neighbourhood, that's for sure... I only pass strangers on the street, and none of us care enough to acknowledge each others' presence... We barely even notice.
Aaaaaaaaaahh... I miss my old hood
Such colourful characters... Good times...
jovanka:
Let me know when you plan on stopping by so I can make sure I'm here. Looking forward to it.
Yeah, so anyways .......................
........................ what was I saying again?
........................ what was I saying again?
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
nenia:
next time i get up to toronto i should stop by an bug ya. how's things?
hexek:
Whats up man!?
No new journals?
Just wondering whats the happinins.......
Oh yeah and meryy happy too I suppose.
No new journals?
Just wondering whats the happinins.......
Oh yeah and meryy happy too I suppose.
WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!
.... I just felt like typing that.
.... I just felt like typing that.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
hexek:
Thanks for the pic postin, and I loved your "T" sentence.
Later man.
Later man.
blueleopard:
thanks for killing that thread, hopefully.
i like the 3 word game on the original thread.
i hope what i said had some effect on the guy, he gives us noobs a bad name.
b.l.
i like the 3 word game on the original thread.
i hope what i said had some effect on the guy, he gives us noobs a bad name.
b.l.
yeah, so ... I'm back, not because I'm feeling particularly social ..just the opposite these days really ..but I got a little SG spam offering a nice little deal and, purely on impulse, decided "fuck it, why not" ... first time I've ever actually responded to spam but SG gets to be the exception.
anyways, thats all besides the point, which is, Hi how are...
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anyways, thats all besides the point, which is, Hi how are...
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VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
jovanka:
Hey did you got to the Damageplan show by any chance?
jovanka:
I was at that show! What a trip, totally brought back memories of Toronto as a far too young mohawked retard at a few of those BFG parties. I seem to recall a scandanavian beast who looked suspiciously similar to you from time to time, but I never spoke to him. 
Damageplan was nuts, I went with a friend from Detroit who knows them well and we all got hammered on whiskey, then Pat pulled us up on stage and we sang 2 Pantera songs with them, pulled down the guitarist's pants twice, did headspins and banged my melon with Dimebag and crawled around on all fours on stage for the rest of the show. Needless to say, it was a fucking trip! They wouldn't let me off stage so the air guitar came out and the rest is committed to my insane history of doing crazy shit in front of a crowd. Waiting on pics from people who were there. I'm a maniac, now you know.
Still wanna wrestle?
[Edited on Dec 07, 2004 12:33AM]
Damageplan was nuts, I went with a friend from Detroit who knows them well and we all got hammered on whiskey, then Pat pulled us up on stage and we sang 2 Pantera songs with them, pulled down the guitarist's pants twice, did headspins and banged my melon with Dimebag and crawled around on all fours on stage for the rest of the show. Needless to say, it was a fucking trip! They wouldn't let me off stage so the air guitar came out and the rest is committed to my insane history of doing crazy shit in front of a crowd. Waiting on pics from people who were there. I'm a maniac, now you know.
Still wanna wrestle?
[Edited on Dec 07, 2004 12:33AM]
so, I got all moved in on saturday and as I was completely absorbed with unpacking and getting my new apt together when I got some really bad news over the phone, my buddy Ron (Dabz) had just died in hospital after a collapsed lung caused by rejection of a double lung transplant that he had a couple of years ago. he was a great...
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thebacchanalian:
sorry to hear that - he sounds like he was an upright man and lived his whole life.
need2xcap2:
im sorry to hear about yer friend.....losing good people really sux....i hope everyone is okay and is dealing well...
much love
much love
I think one of the best and worst things about moving is going through all of my old stuff, looking at old pictures, reading old letters, cards and even seeing phone numbers of old friends ..so much shit comes flooding back all at once it's not even funny ..ok some of it is funny, some of it is good, bad, sad or just plain wierd...
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VIEW 21 of 21 COMMENTS
nocturnus:
Man I used to love going through old stuff, but now I can't remember why. I'll find a yearbook or a box of pictures and spend up to two hours going through it, a pic at a time, and my rollercoasters through memory lane aren't happy ones anymore. In the end, I've wasted a bunch of valuable time just to depress myself.
One of these days I'll have to clean out my stuff that's at mom's house, and I'm not looking forward to it lol.
One of these days I'll have to clean out my stuff that's at mom's house, and I'm not looking forward to it lol.
gasmaskboy:
GD IT update Muthah fukah!!!
I wanna know how you is...
I wanna know how you is...
ok so I shaved the beard
what ...... that was my excuse to update.
what ...... that was my excuse to update.
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thebacchanalian:
hey man, I'm still waiting for the right inspiration to write a bit about the fort ..I'm thinking it's gonna be a bit of a long story but it will be cool to document.
take all the time you need - it's an important bit of history.
One of my motives for asking was spurred by the murmur project. http://murmurtoronto.ca/ These guys have signs on location with a phone number and a code - you call the number and type in the code and get a little recording made by someone about something that happened at that location. They are adding a layer of personalized history and narrative to the city. Some of the stuff is mediocre, but some is amazing. Kensington is the original roll-out for this project. Your mentioning the Goofs reminded me of the Fort and that, to my knowledge, murmur has nothing on this yet. Maybe you can fix that...
pickled_pussy:
yes. he is in the band
and im pretty sure he's opening for them in LA too.. not sure about the rest of tour - i think he wanted to stay around and work since he's got a big project going on...
and im pretty sure he's opening for them in LA too.. not sure about the rest of tour - i think he wanted to stay around and work since he's got a big project going on...
call me an updated motherfucker 
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gasmaskboy:
hehehe yeah much gaming.... now the question is...
Giant Robots? Spys VS Mercs? or Jedi with Double bladed light sabers?
decsions decisions
Giant Robots? Spys VS Mercs? or Jedi with Double bladed light sabers?
decsions decisions
nocturnus:
Well...you updated a while ago...lol.
Good to see you around again, man. It's got to have been a month since we chatted, but I thought you were cool to talk to.
Good to see you around again, man. It's got to have been a month since we chatted, but I thought you were cool to talk to.
Online I can play with the guns and lightsabers....
but online boobies don't work the same....
but if they did....
Man it'd be really fucking creepy and I'd never come back.
lol