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throughnthrough

Fucked, NY

Hopeful Since 2008

Followers 869 Following 959

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Monday Apr 25, 2011

Apr 25, 2011
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So, I've been thinking a lot this past week...And then, looking at Bully's new set today, I took a gander at her last blog and she mentioned animal totems based on your birthday. First, I took one of those semi-cheesed quizzes on what your animal would be- then I looked up my birthday, and it was a MATCH! Apparently, I am a big, fat BEAR:
But the questions listed as to what a "bear" might think of often were dead on:

Are you thinking about a different form of education?
Are you being a true friend, and are your friends being true to you?
Are you communicating yourself clearly to others?
Are you being loyal to yourself?
Are you incorporating strategies and planning to achieve your goals?
Are you spending enough quality time with yourself, friends and family?

But here is what I've been trying to focus on this week: my garden/yard: I've been weeding and planting; I have to buy some mulch and do some more with the bricks/ walkways on our property...it would make it look so much better!
A little lavender, and rosemary to come:

Violas and pansies (excuse the shaky hand, per usual wink )

And my favorite tree in the entire yard...there are shrubs on either side that are WAYYYY overgrown because no one trimmed them for about a decade- so the hubby is ripping them out and putting in some burning bushes. But this tree has leaves all year round, and i don't even know what it is. During the spring and summer there are bumblebees buzzing about constantly...I don't know- I guess it kind of represent a sense of permanency for me here; I have to plant my roots somewhere for my son...and I know I can do it if I surround myself in the things I love. It balances me a bit, I suppose...


I'll post more as I make more progress...we have to paint the porch, lay the brick, lay down some blue stone around our fire pit in the back yard and Rust-oleum the patio set my parents so graciously gave to us. I have a driftwood/vine collection that I'll be turning into some semblance of an artful display as well...we'll see how that goes...

The fact that my set is still pending debut is worrying me...I just don't have the tits for this SG thing...I won't give up...but it might be a little while before I shoot again. Come up with some killer theme and location...I dunno. Still trying to get in touch with Brooklyn and see if she has time this summer; still coming up with ideas with my lovely Ta2dFreek, still trying to motivate myself to fix the problem areas I know I could on my own. It's a somewhat "woe is me" kind of day...but not really- that's probably the dreary weather mainly...I'm just trying to get myself into a place where I actually fix something (dbl meaning: ME), which, for me, includes a lot of withdrawal and silent thought.

At least Alexander had a good Easter!!!!




I was so impressed with him! he found every egg and put on quite the show...only issue: he still clapped his hands while holding the eggs...thank god they were hard-boiled or clean up would have been QUITE the project wink

Hope all are having a good day! kiss
xoxo
TnT
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
kurosune:
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Apr 25, 2011
peachysweetlove:
Thank you sooo much for the encouragement. Everything you said was absolutely right. It's funny, I was reading a relationship article w. 5 red flags that you're in a bad relationship and I think he had 4, if not all 5, flags. Things like ... rolling his eyes at my ideas, never being able to be alone without friends, having little to do w. me when Im sad.... just overall....he wanted me at his beck & call w. no intentions of returning the sentiment. It was so hurtful... I've never felt so used. I'm glad it's over....proud of myself for leaving as well. I think that's why I type it out in detail so often....so I can constantly remind myself of why I left. THIS is why he's not a good person, THIS is why I don't need him .... THIS is why we're done. **Sighs**
Apr 25, 2011

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