throughnthrough

Well, Andrea needed to move the shoot back to wednesday, but that will give me at least an extra two days to get the bloat down....i've been miserable at night and just eating, nay STUFFING, my face with whatever i can...Today, it was made even more apparent that I need to change my life.

Funny how fighting can cause a major epiphany- well, not really funny, but a necessary evil...It's just hard for me to get the things together when i feel like everything else is falling apart. The second we got married, we have had nothing but bad luck, and my healer told me it was going to be on my shoulders to fix it all...too bad I am notorious for folding under pressure...

So, what do I do?
ORGANIZE!!!!!!!!!!!! it helps me not get overwhelmed by the clutter of the house and therefore less in general
EXERCISE!!!!!!!!!!!! helps me not want to jump off of a bridge by mid-day sun
CLEAN AND KEEP UP WITH IT!!!!!! helps lessen the time needed to organize
KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT!!!!!! to reflect on my emotions before i voice them- that way when i speak it is as reasonable as it could possibly be; or if it isn't important, hopefully i'll forget about it- making it a non-problem
EAT RIGHT!!!!!!!!!! good body image= better self-esteem leading to happier Athazagoraphobiac
ACT AS IF I AM ON MY OWN!!!!!!!!!!!! the more independent i am, the more i will appreciate the things that my husband does, BECAUSE HE DOES DO A LOT!!!!!!! and i will be less resentful about the things that i am unreasonable/off my rocker about. It adds to the equality factor in a relationship
PICK MY BATTLES!!!!!!!! some things just aren't worth it...TRUST me!
TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY ACTIONS/BEHAVIOR!!!!! i know i'm nuts, now I have to learn to control my thoughts, and volume, at least to a reasonable level.
GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been sitting in this house, without a job since before I was pregnant with my one year old....i was working full-time since i was 17...it's a bit of a shock to the system: being a high-geared type-A manager who would work 60 hours a week if payroll allowed. Now I have to reclaim some of that, not worry about the child care because I can figure SOMETHING out...
KEEP MOVING!!!!!!!! being stagnant is what got me into this boat in the first place, now I need to get out of it- stop using my son as an excuse for staying in and KEEP MOVING!! the busier you are, the less chance you have to wallow in self-misery.

Sorry to be such a downer this morning mixed with a motivationally- speaking, bloody MESS! but I needed to vent.

So there- that is done at least....sorry to delay the photos, i am at least going to the location (her attic) to set up on sunday night...i doing a kind-of memoir maze type thing...things that mean alot to me hanging from the walls/ceiling, etc... thinking along the lines, "If these walls could talk" kind o thing...dunno, we'll see how it works out!

god knows i'll probably blog again today (can't miss the word of the day!