sometimes i remember a single moment, or a short span of time with so much clarity it hurts.
assumptions are our beliefs out playing with our emotions:
the photograph in her mind was slightly out of focus. blurred by the fact her mind had been in a frenzied state of emotion when the moment she recalled actually occurred. in the image the relationship was nine hours old and, although she did not comprehend it at that time, over. denial kept that realization from her.
she had used denial as a cover before. however, some time ago she had flung it off, a frayed blanket that no longer kept her warm enough. it had been the double edged sword that had allowed her life to continue unfolding, a mundane movie with a bad sound track. this denial was different.
the taxi came, she was relieved. conversation had been impossible, he paced in the hot sun just as she began to deny the wave of knowledge that said it was over. it had been over when it started.
"you know there is zero future for us," she had said, near the beginning. it was a statement of fact then, and would remain so. in the obsession that followed, later, the denial that allowed her to ignore that fact, she tried to imagine different outcomes from the last minutes they were together.
the reality of trying to rethink the past is that the only possible product is thought. this necessary fact escaped her, at times. there are no temporal boundaries with lessons, she came to realize; the resultant lessons of nine hours can uncover intrinsic truths that the lessons of many years failed to discover. when the student is ready the teacher will come.
the song that played in the cab was known to her. a woman singer cried out about waking up with a snake tattoo. she turned to him as the cab pulled away and told him that the lyrics were an exact expression of how she felt, in that moment. upon further consideration she recognized the cruel irony in her statement. without the radio the rest of the cab ride would have been silent.
assumptions are our beliefs out playing with our emotions:
the photograph in her mind was slightly out of focus. blurred by the fact her mind had been in a frenzied state of emotion when the moment she recalled actually occurred. in the image the relationship was nine hours old and, although she did not comprehend it at that time, over. denial kept that realization from her.
she had used denial as a cover before. however, some time ago she had flung it off, a frayed blanket that no longer kept her warm enough. it had been the double edged sword that had allowed her life to continue unfolding, a mundane movie with a bad sound track. this denial was different.
the taxi came, she was relieved. conversation had been impossible, he paced in the hot sun just as she began to deny the wave of knowledge that said it was over. it had been over when it started.
"you know there is zero future for us," she had said, near the beginning. it was a statement of fact then, and would remain so. in the obsession that followed, later, the denial that allowed her to ignore that fact, she tried to imagine different outcomes from the last minutes they were together.
the reality of trying to rethink the past is that the only possible product is thought. this necessary fact escaped her, at times. there are no temporal boundaries with lessons, she came to realize; the resultant lessons of nine hours can uncover intrinsic truths that the lessons of many years failed to discover. when the student is ready the teacher will come.
the song that played in the cab was known to her. a woman singer cried out about waking up with a snake tattoo. she turned to him as the cab pulled away and told him that the lyrics were an exact expression of how she felt, in that moment. upon further consideration she recognized the cruel irony in her statement. without the radio the rest of the cab ride would have been silent.
more! More! MORE!!!!!