Sunday Dec 01, 2002

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What is it about the holiday season that sends one into a tail spin of depression? I avoid walking around the chaotic malls filled with drones hypnotized by an extensive media campaign to buy "things". I'd rather go with holes in my underware a little longer and wait until the shopping season is over so that I'm not confused as one of the mindless masses....
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alistairmather:
i find that i am depressed and gladdened simultaneously during the holidays. on the one hand, the sense of life in the world is better, people are more willing to believe and you can feel it (you know, like around halloween when everyone giggles about ghosts, but won't go out alone because they secretly deep down are sure they are real that one night and can get them - and because they believe it, it can happen that night). christmas makes everyone a little more believing, perhaps a trifle more faithful, and the world responds to that belief and faith. and that is nice. on the other hand, that belief is centered on the wrong things, the wrong ideals and it tends to make everyone more edgy and insipid as they all fall victim to the pervading sense underlying this time. they all struggle and fight and argue to make for one perfect day that they can never have, and thus take away from others. the day after christmas is always the worst day of the year because people stop believing and the wonder of the world dies a little bit.
i also tend to spend every holiday season alone. something always arises that takes away the object of my affections this time of the year... so i am probably biased.
thorn2:
True, there some out there who think the holidays are a magical panacea and suffer a "holiday hangover" even before it's over. It's also unfortunate that many think this is the one time in the year to give. I wonder how many evolved individuals actually ignore the holiday boundry and give of their time or something ( i saw this book once that was perfect for my closest friend, and bought it because i knew she couldn'y afford to get it at the time). But if we all did that retailers would freak out and the stock market would probably crash.

Monday Nov 25, 2002

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James S. Mapes said: "We either create our destiny, or we live out someone else's creation".

Words that ring louder than anything I ever learned in school. And yet many of us are lost in the dark, trying to find our way. We get distracted by the bright, distorted light television casts, or the reflection of our potential self as seen in the glossy pages...
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alistairmather:
life, dreams, enlightenment... these things are all easy to acheive. it is allowing ourselves to hold onto them that is the trial

Sunday Nov 24, 2002

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A quiet night...how unusual...and tomorrow brings another day of work. Strange how some days I'm inspired to write volumns and others I've got nothin'. Fried brain, from too much work and too distracted by all the beautiful women on SG.

How can so many beautiful people who seem very educated have so many problems? I wonder if we all take life too seriously. Maybe it's...
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Saturday Nov 23, 2002

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Lesson for the day: Never stay at home when your room mate has loud, annoying family over for dinner; just listening to them try and out talk eachother made me tired!
Think I'll go howl at the moon to release some stress....that and a shot of tequila should do the trick!
jessica:
What a bunch of losers, ha ha. At least they talk though. I don't think my family would even talk.
Thanks for the advice and kind words.
I'm getting my masters in public admin., although I'm not in any hurry to do so. I'm just biding my time until law school, if I get in and decide to go. Who knows!

Friday Nov 22, 2002

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A tribal call echos in the dark recesses of my heart.
With hesitant breaths I search my soul for the cause of the outcry and find a primative man squating fireside next to me. He holds his spear defiantly upright and gazes ahead into the inky black of my thoughts. I can not run for at every turn he stands staring. I can not hide...
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Saturday Nov 16, 2002

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Late at night when shadows play in firelight, I sit and wonder what the angels sing.
The daily strife of evil's game tires my defenses and plagues my dreams.
I listen close to the sensuous voice that flows on the salty sea air,
and lose all sense of pain brought by my demons who, till now, this space they shared.
As quickly as it came,...
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nala:
So where are some good places in Santa Barbara, I'm curious to see what you say, I'm from there, born and raised. And will be down there next week
nala:
So where are some good places in Santa Barbara, I'm curious to see what you say, I'm from there, born and raised. And will be down there next week

Saturday Nov 16, 2002

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It's a lazy Saturday afternoon with SG - can life get any better?

Thursday Nov 14, 2002

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So many beautiful, real women here....it's very comforting. I was getting numb to all the commercialized, silicone injected crap that was being flaunted on so many sites. Glad I came across SG. Think I'll hang out here for awhile.......
blayne:
weeeeeee. new friend. thanks for commenting on my journal. it meant a lot to me... i was so ready to give up on people. I really appreciate your commenting.

XOXO Always.
~B