thiskidrighthere

In lieu, of the discovery yesterday, my "no sex" decision went out the window. Figure, if sex is all I'm good for, why deprive myself? Honestly, with 30 people on the list of people I've slept with, its not like I'm saving myself for marriage. And not having sex just makes me irritable and, in the long run, removes any possibilities of the daughter I want so much.

Also, in light of the recent discovery I've come to a decision. I didn't want to set it in stone yesterday, because I didn't want to make up my mind over it while I was still upset (actually cried, nbd), and so, today when the idea still held as much allure as it did yesterday, and honestly has for a long time I've decided.

I'm going to get the fuck out of Odessa.

I'm tired of the people here. The boys. The girls. The air. The memories. Everything. I can't stand this place any longer and just need to get out. I'm waiting until after I've saved up at least a couple pay checks then I'm going to get a job with my bestie and travel the country with her. I'm waiting until after my birthday, and coincidentally another sweeps session, when Miss Amber will be back in town, then going back with her when she goes back to the job. Then we're both moving back to Dallas.

And guys, I know this all sounds far-fetched and a lot of other adjectives that y'all can probably think of, but I don't want to be in this hellhole anymore, everywhere I look are things I don't want to remember, faces I wish I didn't see, just all around heartache. I'm tired of it. Exhausted.

So I'm leaving and I want to be around the one person who's supported me and kept me sane in the last two years again. If I get to make money, and travel while I'm at it, why not.