Begin random ranting...
If they can get over 300 people off a crashed plane in 90 seconds, why does it take a half hour to get all those fat asses off every intact plane I'm on? I'm sure the FIRE and imminent explosion is a good incentive. Next time I'm on a plane waiting for some dipshit attempt to get his garment bag out of the overhead bin for 10 minutes, I'm gonna yell "fire!"
I went to Wal-Mart today, it's the only place I know of where I can find the kind of razors I like. So I buy 40 of them at a time so I won't have to go back for a while. I was, by at least 30 pounds, by far the skinniest person in that whole building. That includes all the barefoot kids running around. Freaky.
Hey dude who works at the Cingular store: you are a useless waste of skin. God DAMN you're a slow stupid fuck. I sincerely hope you were high at the time, it's the only excuse I can imagine for such staggering incompetence.
I have dozens of wasps building some sort of condominium under the eave right outside my bedroom window where I'm sitting right now. During the day you can hear the buzzing of them taking off and landing. I keep checking the screen for any holes or gaps, I don't want to have to keep the window closed in the 90+ degree heat. Scary.
Dude who lives below me: What the fuck are you cooking lately? Jesus Christ, I thought a racoon got into the air conditioning units and was electrocuted, and was smoldering all day. I guess you're using some kind of funky asian spices or something, but damn! Again, I can't close my window without sweltering. I think that smell must be attracting all the wasps.
End ranting... for now.
If they can get over 300 people off a crashed plane in 90 seconds, why does it take a half hour to get all those fat asses off every intact plane I'm on? I'm sure the FIRE and imminent explosion is a good incentive. Next time I'm on a plane waiting for some dipshit attempt to get his garment bag out of the overhead bin for 10 minutes, I'm gonna yell "fire!"
I went to Wal-Mart today, it's the only place I know of where I can find the kind of razors I like. So I buy 40 of them at a time so I won't have to go back for a while. I was, by at least 30 pounds, by far the skinniest person in that whole building. That includes all the barefoot kids running around. Freaky.
Hey dude who works at the Cingular store: you are a useless waste of skin. God DAMN you're a slow stupid fuck. I sincerely hope you were high at the time, it's the only excuse I can imagine for such staggering incompetence.
I have dozens of wasps building some sort of condominium under the eave right outside my bedroom window where I'm sitting right now. During the day you can hear the buzzing of them taking off and landing. I keep checking the screen for any holes or gaps, I don't want to have to keep the window closed in the 90+ degree heat. Scary.
Dude who lives below me: What the fuck are you cooking lately? Jesus Christ, I thought a racoon got into the air conditioning units and was electrocuted, and was smoldering all day. I guess you're using some kind of funky asian spices or something, but damn! Again, I can't close my window without sweltering. I think that smell must be attracting all the wasps.
End ranting... for now.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
1kiss_of_life:
I knew you were jealous. Knew it the whole time. 
1kiss_of_life:
Did you see the movie "Sweet Home Alabama" with Reese Witherspoon? If so, is that the southern accent you are talking about? Just wondering. 