I'm currently visiting my sister in Orange County, CA. Neither of us have enough money to fly to Connecticut for grandpa's funeral, so we're having a west coast family wake evening on Thursday. I didn't come down for xmas, so I had a stack of family gifts waiting for me. One package from my aunt was a beautiful framed photo of my grandparents on their wedding day. It's been here for a month, long before grandpa died. I opened it and sat there crying for about 5 minutes before i could talk. I still wish I had made more of an effort to talk to him, but my mom said he asked about me regularly, and he knew that I loved him. I just didn't tell him in years. I've been calling or writing to extended family the past few days, making sure everybody knows I miss and love them all.
I deal with death very badly, always have. I've been hugging my niece and nephew like a crazy person since I've been here. I love those kids more than I can ever say.
Saturday night (the night before granpa died), I went out with Chantal to see Lewis Black in SF. We had a really nice night, and a great talk about how we feel about each other. We both love the friendship we get from each other, and don't wish to risk it for a possibly short term romance. So friends we shall remain, hopefully for many, many years to come, and there it will stop. I still love her, and always will, but now know it's not meant to be a romantic love, but more like the friend who's really family. I'm happy with that...
Shannon is treating me wonderfully, and it's getting easier to let myself grow in my feelings for her. We're taking it slow, but it should be smooth sailing ahead. It's a bit hard to open up for a real relationship again, but I'm being brutally honest with her (even with the Chantal issue), and she's just so incredibly understanding about it all. I just need to make sure I don't let myself take advantage of someone so sweet. She's a sharp girl though, and I don't think she'd let that happen anyway. So we'll see how that goes, but I have nice hopes for the future there. Just need to keep it slow....
I deal with death very badly, always have. I've been hugging my niece and nephew like a crazy person since I've been here. I love those kids more than I can ever say.
Saturday night (the night before granpa died), I went out with Chantal to see Lewis Black in SF. We had a really nice night, and a great talk about how we feel about each other. We both love the friendship we get from each other, and don't wish to risk it for a possibly short term romance. So friends we shall remain, hopefully for many, many years to come, and there it will stop. I still love her, and always will, but now know it's not meant to be a romantic love, but more like the friend who's really family. I'm happy with that...
Shannon is treating me wonderfully, and it's getting easier to let myself grow in my feelings for her. We're taking it slow, but it should be smooth sailing ahead. It's a bit hard to open up for a real relationship again, but I'm being brutally honest with her (even with the Chantal issue), and she's just so incredibly understanding about it all. I just need to make sure I don't let myself take advantage of someone so sweet. She's a sharp girl though, and I don't think she'd let that happen anyway. So we'll see how that goes, but I have nice hopes for the future there. Just need to keep it slow....
uncaringmachine:
Hey, it's just good to have someone to be with, yknow? I seem to always take a girl for granted, but then she leaves, and I get all down about it. It's my fault! Sheesh........so be thankful that this girl wants to be with you. And yes, sometimes, on those rare instances, us nice dudes do get our due. Later!