In the morning I plan to continue the "list". Not looking forward to it since the next girl is my ex-wife, and it's not a very good story.
I'm still having a lot of trouble dealing with my Grandfather's death. No one here knew him, and all of my family live 400 miles away at the other end of California. I need more family greiving time. I want to get sloppy drunk with my Brother-in-law (Orange County) and my cousin Mike (Chatanooga, TN). I really want to sit and have a drink with my Papa. It was a good life, but I wanted more time. I want to hug him again, to listen to him sing, to make him laugh. I want to hear more stories about the family I never met, and about my Grandmother who passed when I was 5. I want to watch a baseball game with him, and play poker.
My friend turned girlfriend turned psycho ex-girlfriend turned cut-off for being too obsessive girl has been emailing me almost daily again. She seems to be doing a lot better, and it's actually really nice to write back and forth like we used to. I'm just really skittish about letting her in too much, as I know she always wants more from me than I'm willing to give her again. It's a shame since she's a great kid, and a really good friend, but I screwed it up horrifically by dating her after my divorce. It ended so badly. Then she kept trying to get me back, but in staggeringly scary ways. She doesn't have my phone number anymore, and I'm not going to give it to her for fear of renewed 2:00 AM sobbing drunken phone calls, or those even worse text messages. I need my friends right now, but I can't risk opening up that can of worms again.
I'm still jobless, and I feel so pathetic and useless. I'm supposedly a lock for this supervisor position, but it doesn't start for a while, as I have to wait for a management program to begin. Until I get a schedule and a paycheck, I'll be a worthless mess. I'm broker than broke right now. I need some $$ to come in so I can get my bank balance UP to zero. I filed for unemployment, and have filled out beaucoup forms, but have yet to see any checks. My severance pay was in weekly checks like payroll, and unemployment considers that still being on the books, and thus ineligable. So I can start getting $$ for the weeks AFTER the severance ran out. I've been eating lots of rice, old crackers, and random things I've found at the back of my cupboard. The weekends are the best, since if I cook, Shannon will buy the food at the grocery store, but I'm starting to get a horrible guilt complex about it. Damn you Catholocism!! I want to get back to work so badly... Both for $$ and my mental health.
Oh well... this was more of a rant than I planned on. I'm off to bed.
I'm still having a lot of trouble dealing with my Grandfather's death. No one here knew him, and all of my family live 400 miles away at the other end of California. I need more family greiving time. I want to get sloppy drunk with my Brother-in-law (Orange County) and my cousin Mike (Chatanooga, TN). I really want to sit and have a drink with my Papa. It was a good life, but I wanted more time. I want to hug him again, to listen to him sing, to make him laugh. I want to hear more stories about the family I never met, and about my Grandmother who passed when I was 5. I want to watch a baseball game with him, and play poker.
My friend turned girlfriend turned psycho ex-girlfriend turned cut-off for being too obsessive girl has been emailing me almost daily again. She seems to be doing a lot better, and it's actually really nice to write back and forth like we used to. I'm just really skittish about letting her in too much, as I know she always wants more from me than I'm willing to give her again. It's a shame since she's a great kid, and a really good friend, but I screwed it up horrifically by dating her after my divorce. It ended so badly. Then she kept trying to get me back, but in staggeringly scary ways. She doesn't have my phone number anymore, and I'm not going to give it to her for fear of renewed 2:00 AM sobbing drunken phone calls, or those even worse text messages. I need my friends right now, but I can't risk opening up that can of worms again.
I'm still jobless, and I feel so pathetic and useless. I'm supposedly a lock for this supervisor position, but it doesn't start for a while, as I have to wait for a management program to begin. Until I get a schedule and a paycheck, I'll be a worthless mess. I'm broker than broke right now. I need some $$ to come in so I can get my bank balance UP to zero. I filed for unemployment, and have filled out beaucoup forms, but have yet to see any checks. My severance pay was in weekly checks like payroll, and unemployment considers that still being on the books, and thus ineligable. So I can start getting $$ for the weeks AFTER the severance ran out. I've been eating lots of rice, old crackers, and random things I've found at the back of my cupboard. The weekends are the best, since if I cook, Shannon will buy the food at the grocery store, but I'm starting to get a horrible guilt complex about it. Damn you Catholocism!! I want to get back to work so badly... Both for $$ and my mental health.
Oh well... this was more of a rant than I planned on. I'm off to bed.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
Dee is for lots of things. Death. Dust. Darkness. Demons.
I LOVE lycra!! Lycra or nothing at all!!
Lycra or nothing at all. Hmmm ... two reasons to have a boyfriend.