thisisalladream

upheaval [aphivl] noun
a great change or disturbance
Example: Moving house causes a great upheaval.

tonight has pretty much been one of the worst in quite sometime. i'm not quite sure what sparked it or why exactly it came about, but it all sort of collapsed upon itself. as it does from time to time. it sort of came and went, then came again in one giant wave. i'm trying to pick myself up off these hardwood floors and fix my face. trying to prepare myself for what will most likely be many months of the same old thing. no money. heartache. disappointment. a change of scenery. a new leaf. heart swelling possibilities. chin up. smiles. all of it.

i just need to remind myself to breathe and that things will get easier. i just need to jump. make it happen. just fucking start. all the preparation in the damn universe won't stop the unexpected from happening or make the market get any better, or help me out in any possible way.

you jump, i jump

i just need to get my life started again instead of mourning the previous existence i once had. things can always get better, it's just this whole starting over thing took me a bit by surprise. i'm ready though, i always try to be anyway...

i've had a few hard knocks to the ground but i always keep getting up. you can't stop this girl, no, not ever...