thisisalladream

yes, yes.

i have been a bit MIA lately, apologies i have a few.

topsy-turvy days and nights. adding. subtracting. leaving behind a wake of questions and scathing comments. not necessarily how i want to spend my days, but i suppose it was bound to happen at some point. a few of my friends have been less than understanding about my upcoming departure. i don't blame them one bit, but it still makes my heart ache in rhythmic beats and pulses.

no one accepts the, "goodbyes" and, "see you soons." nothing i say comes out quite right and holding on just makes everything slip from these frail fingers a bit faster.

a bit. a peck. a bushel. a bunch. you can't go back, no not this time...

i wish that i could say that those expecting me fair much better, but it doesn't appear so. i get the occasional, "yay!" but more so the, "perhaps we can hangout soon," "i hope to see you at some point," "maybe this will work this time," or "i hope."

wishy-washy, that is suppose to be my specialty, i thought you would be the reliable one. i am always left guessing. i'm waiting, in almost anticipation, of when you will break my little heart. i'm expecting it, but not relishing the idea of it.

damn it. please don't be yet another one in a long line of......

i despise this week of work, stupid holidays, and uncomfortable situations. blah.