thisisalladream

i do believe that i have less than three weeks left here in louisville, then i'm off, it's kind of exciting but i am not looking forward to packing or the thirteen hour drive back to Pennsylvania.

i can not *wait* to quit my job.

unreturned phone calls litter my answering machine, mail piles up in messy little stacks, and several questions go left unanswered each day. there's an air of disappointment milling about me and i can't quite put my finger on it's origin. all i know is that people are disappearing left and right, with no words uttered, no good byes said, just going, going, gone...

i will never truly understand nor accept this.

honesty is the best policy my dears, just keep up with it. don't turn your eyes to the side and create some mythical tale that absolves you from any wrong doing, no more bold faced lies, or "truths" told from clinched teeth and pressed lips. i know better, i know much more than i'll ever let on about. it's not the case of having the upper hand, is just being prepared. being prepared for the other shoe to drop, for all of it to come down and flood the room up to the very top of these windows. there is no escaping it, no avoiding it...

the dust will settle and it will all come down in due time. sooner would be better for you than later. better for me. i just wish you had the courage to let them slip from your lips.

i think you owe me at least that...


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it's truly sad to see you overcompensate for being such a shitty (ex)boyfriend by dating teenagers...gross.