thisisalladream

after the spectacle that was last night, i just don't give a fuck about anything anymore.

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i can be a bit overly dramatic from time to time and the other night seemed to make that bubble out of me in ways i didn't even realize. there is a lot going on in my life at the moment, mostly grainy and bitter, but i'm hoping...
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"I'm just like you, peel away the layers two by two.
You're just like me, piling on the pressure three by three.
We're almost done shutting out the voices one by one.
Why do i worry, what do they think?
What is she telling her friends? i can't ignore anything.
I'm planning out my moves like my every second was graded."

it seems, as of...
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"I'm putting this night down to bed
Cause i was sitting at the bar
Hoping you're walk in the door
That says killian's red
Cause i left you a note that said
Come on out and we'll both get
Right off of our heads
And float up off the chair"

yes, same song as a few posts back but it was awfully relevant to my...
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'If you were here
Baby we'd increase the dose
There was no fear in my room
When we got close
Call me anytime
You've got a ghost
And you're the only person in the world
I feel that way about
And if you move off to the side
I'll get swept back out'

lately i have been stuck on this one particular song, when i...
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"Can you name all the bones in my body?
Can you make all the tones in my head?
What you couldn't find in books
and you've broken every spine

I could tame all the tigers in your bloodstream.
Can you lay all my ghosts in their graves?
But what you couldn't find in books
(and you've broken every spine)"

i made sure not to utter...
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after a month and a half of struggling for employment in my hometown i actually got offered a job at a little more than minimum wage and at part time. i thought, oh great.

i have been spending my weekends in Philadelphia and the rest of the week back "home." we usually leave on Tuesday and work for my best friends mother for some extra...
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"i've got a reason to be sad and
i've got a reason to feel like i've been had.
but i would give most anything, to see you smile at me again.
i don't know
i don't know
what i'm supposed to do....
more than a memory to me.'

upheaval [aphivl] noun
a great change or disturbance
Example: Moving house causes a great upheaval.

tonight has pretty much been one of the worst in quite sometime. i'm not quite sure what sparked it or why exactly it came about, but it all sort of collapsed upon itself. as it does from time to time. it sort of came and went, then came again in...
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"And i almost love this town
When i'm by your side
You woke me from a long sleep
And i'm almost back
Closer than ever
To finding the hidden track
If i told you the truth
You wouldn't like what i said
I almost believed i was dead
There'll be no more waiting
You're gonna melt all the ice
In our heads
There'll be no...
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i have forever been in a state of coming and going.

constantly having one foot in the door and one stepping just outside the threshold. saying hello with a smile, kiss on the cheek, the whispering goodbye in the opposite ear.

you would think that this glaring fact of my life, this repetitive state i find myself in, would make my heart ache. it does....
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