thisisalladream

Why must people's breaking hearts pretend? Why must happy hearts break so hard, leave you staring in the mirror at a bar? Leave you talking to yourself, because you can't talk to anybody else.

if i could muster up the courage to let you know, i would...

i know i'm being silly, that my head isn't quite screwed on correctly while looking in the mirror...
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i must say, the universe has an odd and terrible way of rearing it's ugly little head from time to time. that or it has an awful sense of humor, or timing.

something.

trying to find a new apartment, got my hours cut as did the boy a few hours *after* we put in our application for the lovely place we happened upon. now we're...
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where *oh* where have i been these days. over here, sometimes there, and often times everywhere.

yes, yes.




things are lovely more times than not. there are a few messy bits here and there but i'm slowly trying to rectify that. i'll figure it out like i usually do, hopefully.

at least i have that whole compainonship things covered. even moving in with the boy...
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"she wasn't perfect but i loved her, you know? I would kill everyone here to bring her back. Anyway, good luck class of 2008."

i've been hibernating in a manner of speaking. the healthy love glow i've avoided talking about due to jinxing it or getting ahead of myself is in full effect. i just hope this one sticks. not that i have any doubt,...
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i'm slip. slip, slipping...







i'm not sure if i'll ever get this heavy head above water.

'Every one of us has a secret rhythm beating like a drum
All of us have a albatross and this is my one
This is what I do for a living this is what I do
I could hide it in the attic I could bury it in static
I could only put it out in Japan
I could tape my mouth closed I could...
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"You've got a heart so big goes all the way to California
Where the water hits the land I hope your folks'll understand
The city is dark but we're not scared
Wrapped up in each other

You come and you glow and you hum and you hover..."

certain things are oh so lovely that it makes my head stop throbbing with all the other things...
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"Try as they might, no one's immune to
Misfiring and acting on the wrong clues
And thinkin' it's time to redo and redo

I feel rain in the movies and the talk before the screen lights
I hear strings in the park
I don't like to call her right, except when its too late at night
I mostly just think in the dark...

...The lights...
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"Old tin cups, little paper dolls
All wrapped up, in ribbons, bows, and hearts
Old tin cups, and little paper dolls
All wrapped up, in the ribbons of your heart

Well the ghost has got me running
Well the ghost has got me running
Away from you, away from you, away..."

i am stuck in the middle of a million different scenarios that play themselves...
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"As the express train passes the local
It moves by just like a paper boat
Although it weighs a million pounds
I swear it almost seems to float
And as we pass by each other
Our heads all full of bother
We can't look, we can't stop
We can't think, we can't stop
Because we're stuck in our own paths
And it's the way it...
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"But when you're close
You look through me just like a ghost
I like sleeping
I'm only safe when I'm dreaming
I need a new heart
This one's hollow always scheming
You wait for summer
And then you wait for winter
But there's a total lack of splendor...

Throw away your crushes
All your childhood crutches away
Super brain
Never scared of nothing
Violence or...
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"It's about time that I came clean with you
I'm no longer fine, I'm no longer running smooth
I thought that I found myself under something new
Just one more line I repeat over and over again
'Till I'm blue in the face with a choking regret
Because I talk in circles 'round you on my bed
Can't say I blame you one bit when...
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