For the record, this isn't me being sad or whiny, just read it like I'm using a matter of fact tone. Cause that was the implication. Poorly implied. A-yuh.
Ever had something that was really important to you, and then one day you just lose all faith in it and move on?
That's what happened to me with the punk rock scene. I was 14 when I first started going to shows. I started reading the pamphlets from the ARA, Youth Against Hate, all that good shit. I learned about politics, and government lies and abuses. I started questioning everything and everyone more. Now, these are all inherent traits in me, but I figured I found a place for people like me.
Around 19, I realized how full of bullshit it was. I was surrounded by teenagers who didn't give a fuck about what was said, just that it was loud, and it made them "freaks" to the "cool kids" in their schools. A scene that's supposed to be all about being yourself and changing the world, and it's just full of stupid fucks who feel they have to listen to the music to sport the mohawk. I never understood the people who walked the walk because they wanted to be different. I just was different. No effort required. I never even had a mohawk. I never understood why someone would try so hard to be a "freak," when at heart they just weren't. It's completely contrary to what they're preaching. Love the music a be a preppy if you want. Who the fuck cares?
All these people went on to school, realized it was easier to get laid wearing $150 Polo and LaCoste shirts, and starting listening to rap about "bling" and otherwise pointless shit. I lost faith in humanity at that point. I moved on from the world. I was sick of the hypocricy and lies. I just left them all behind me. The meaning I found in the music became mine and mine alone, and I haven't been to a show since. I can't imagine it's gotten any better.
If it's all for rebellion's sake, then we forgot what was important a long time ago. The world never changes by itself, only when people change it. And youthful idealism doesn't just go away, we choose to forget about it, cause it's just easier that way.
I think I'm waiting for someone to restore my faith... To remind me everything isn't shit, and some people actually mean what they say. Maybe I'll find that and be happy for once. Maybe.
I don't think my heart works anymore. I feel sad, angry, or nothing. Nowhere in between for the better part of a decade. I might be dead inside.
J.R.
P.S. I have to go to London this weekend for a family reunion. Kind of a bad name, since it's actually just my Dad's family. Everyone's gonna be 50 and over, or 10 or less. I can't even get drunk to break the tedium. I hate that I get suckered into this shit. FUCK! I guess is my fault. DOUBLE FUCK!!!
P.P.S. This is the little robin in my yard who's gonna be a mother soon!
Ever had something that was really important to you, and then one day you just lose all faith in it and move on?
That's what happened to me with the punk rock scene. I was 14 when I first started going to shows. I started reading the pamphlets from the ARA, Youth Against Hate, all that good shit. I learned about politics, and government lies and abuses. I started questioning everything and everyone more. Now, these are all inherent traits in me, but I figured I found a place for people like me.
Around 19, I realized how full of bullshit it was. I was surrounded by teenagers who didn't give a fuck about what was said, just that it was loud, and it made them "freaks" to the "cool kids" in their schools. A scene that's supposed to be all about being yourself and changing the world, and it's just full of stupid fucks who feel they have to listen to the music to sport the mohawk. I never understood the people who walked the walk because they wanted to be different. I just was different. No effort required. I never even had a mohawk. I never understood why someone would try so hard to be a "freak," when at heart they just weren't. It's completely contrary to what they're preaching. Love the music a be a preppy if you want. Who the fuck cares?
All these people went on to school, realized it was easier to get laid wearing $150 Polo and LaCoste shirts, and starting listening to rap about "bling" and otherwise pointless shit. I lost faith in humanity at that point. I moved on from the world. I was sick of the hypocricy and lies. I just left them all behind me. The meaning I found in the music became mine and mine alone, and I haven't been to a show since. I can't imagine it's gotten any better.
If it's all for rebellion's sake, then we forgot what was important a long time ago. The world never changes by itself, only when people change it. And youthful idealism doesn't just go away, we choose to forget about it, cause it's just easier that way.
I think I'm waiting for someone to restore my faith... To remind me everything isn't shit, and some people actually mean what they say. Maybe I'll find that and be happy for once. Maybe.
I don't think my heart works anymore. I feel sad, angry, or nothing. Nowhere in between for the better part of a decade. I might be dead inside.
J.R.
P.S. I have to go to London this weekend for a family reunion. Kind of a bad name, since it's actually just my Dad's family. Everyone's gonna be 50 and over, or 10 or less. I can't even get drunk to break the tedium. I hate that I get suckered into this shit. FUCK! I guess is my fault. DOUBLE FUCK!!!
P.P.S. This is the little robin in my yard who's gonna be a mother soon!
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
I find I'm going through almost the exact same train of thought as you. I used to be really into the goth and gay rights scenes because they really meant something to me. I find now that the goth scene is a pvc and pleather fashion show (even moreso than usual) and there's more straight fag hags in the gay bars than there are gay people. They've invaded the culture and I know quite a few number of gay men who won't even go anymore for fear of being attacked by a gaggle of straight girls wanting to make the men their token gay friend.
It all just makes me very, very sad.