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I think we're supposed to write a poem today. Here's mine:

Regarding poetry, I feel
I'd rather kill a baby seal
Or shovel hot coals into my ass
Or even sleep on shards of glass
You see, I'm of the school of thought
That poets smoke way too much pot
That channeling emotion into prose
Really really sucks my hose
Poetry, I'd like to file
Under "things that make me choke back bile"
And if, to you, my poem does not endear
I think you can cram it up your rear.


Just kidding, I really don't hate poetry. I just channel my envy into bitter journal entries.

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