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To ensure quality service and customer satisfaction I've prepared a short questionerre.

1. If the world was going to end tomorrow, what would you do?
2. What is the worst book you've ever read?
3. How often do you practice the sacred art of self-love? Don't lie, I'll know if you do!
4. Would you stay in a relationship if the only good thing about it was the hot, wild, freaky sex?
5. Is there anything you absolutely, positively could not live without?
6. Who would win in a fight between Wolverine and Darth Vader?
7. If you had to lose an arm or a leg, which would you choose?
8. Who do you think drives a cooler car - God or Satan?
9. Have you ever done something you instantly regretted?
10. If you had a shed, would you let me live there?

Thank you very much for your time. I look forward to our future business dealings.

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The pirate thanks you as well.