thinkofsomething

we are the ones
that never got over
the loss of innocence.
we are those swallowed
by the seething scar tissue.
frozen in the everyday of our
own demise, we are the gangsters
of nothing. we have done it over more
ways than the moments we have murdered.
if i actually got a job i would be the ideal american
after all, my default mode is consumption. --fill 'er up,
and don't forget the soda, cigarettes, and a pack of mints.
...maybe a sandwich for later? yup sickening hypocrisy,
that's the order of the day. or maybe; if you can't beat 'em
buy their addictive substances. but i still only pay up with
their paper. i buy trash with trash. my time is still mine.
safe and sound and sad. i have lost the ability to think,
write, or make art. ...i feel more pathetically human
and i hate myself for it. i hate myself more for
editorializing on an internet porn site. but,
these are the choices made
and sacrifices paid
in the name of innocence lost.