alright! back amongst the land of the living. sick bites monkeys. i am still trying to get my wind and my strength back. needless to say, i struggled a lot tonight at volleyball. but we were playing a team where i could just have fun since we were going to win anyway. good stuff.
this past weekend i did some house cleaning to purify things post-illness. i also took inventory of things in my life and made some choices or decisions that dealt with relationships and stuff. with this i hurt somebody. i have apologized for it and i think things will be easy for her to get over. the way i saw it was that it had to be done. the arrangement we had was basically gfriends with bennies even though we hadn't really established a friendship. hump buddies more or less. but there was always this lingering desire on her part for more. and i knew she would always want more. what guy is going to turn down "attachment free" ass? apparently this one. i didn't feel right continuing to lead her on even though all the cards were already on the table. i think she will eventually see that it was for her in the long run. at least i hope she does because she kicks ass. she just wasn't the one for me. from her activity on SG it seems she is not having problems, so i am happy for her.
my fam has been floating rumors of a trip down here for easter, which has been pleasant to say the least. i hope they do come down. i have never had more than one portion of the fam visit at the same time since i have been down here.
work licks taint. i really need a new job. the guy that i trained under when i moved down for the company three years ago jumped ship last week. and i think it is going to open the flood gates for others to split. unless i am one of the splitters, its going to get worse than it is. and as it is right now, its intolerable. its like i am in a valley of a bunch of hills that all the shit rolls down. the company over the last year has gone from a family/team atmosphere to nothing but constant CYA. and the finger-pointing is counter-productive 90% of the time. made latest bout with health is definitely linked to the daily stress. i need to get out.
i got an ivite to a bachelor party weekend at the end of next month that i am pumped for. its a guy that my older brother went to HS with. basically we are going to be in a cabin outside of state college PA then roll into the bars around penn state that weekend to get all tuned up. should be a blast.
has anybody seen the new commercials for the new project greenlight on bravo? fucking affleck cannot even act on a 30 second commercial! its horrible.
i gotta fucking go to bed. hope you all enjoy the rest of your week as well.
this past weekend i did some house cleaning to purify things post-illness. i also took inventory of things in my life and made some choices or decisions that dealt with relationships and stuff. with this i hurt somebody. i have apologized for it and i think things will be easy for her to get over. the way i saw it was that it had to be done. the arrangement we had was basically gfriends with bennies even though we hadn't really established a friendship. hump buddies more or less. but there was always this lingering desire on her part for more. and i knew she would always want more. what guy is going to turn down "attachment free" ass? apparently this one. i didn't feel right continuing to lead her on even though all the cards were already on the table. i think she will eventually see that it was for her in the long run. at least i hope she does because she kicks ass. she just wasn't the one for me. from her activity on SG it seems she is not having problems, so i am happy for her.
my fam has been floating rumors of a trip down here for easter, which has been pleasant to say the least. i hope they do come down. i have never had more than one portion of the fam visit at the same time since i have been down here.
work licks taint. i really need a new job. the guy that i trained under when i moved down for the company three years ago jumped ship last week. and i think it is going to open the flood gates for others to split. unless i am one of the splitters, its going to get worse than it is. and as it is right now, its intolerable. its like i am in a valley of a bunch of hills that all the shit rolls down. the company over the last year has gone from a family/team atmosphere to nothing but constant CYA. and the finger-pointing is counter-productive 90% of the time. made latest bout with health is definitely linked to the daily stress. i need to get out.
i got an ivite to a bachelor party weekend at the end of next month that i am pumped for. its a guy that my older brother went to HS with. basically we are going to be in a cabin outside of state college PA then roll into the bars around penn state that weekend to get all tuned up. should be a blast.
has anybody seen the new commercials for the new project greenlight on bravo? fucking affleck cannot even act on a 30 second commercial! its horrible.
i gotta fucking go to bed. hope you all enjoy the rest of your week as well.
Spending time with you was a blast, and if you ever want a booty call....you know the number....and I do have this new piercing you haven't seen.....
Seriously though, I appreciate the honesty that you gave me the entire time, and I knew where things stood, I just wished I could change your mind. I want nothing more for you than you to be happy, so I wish you luck, and hope that one day, we can truly be friends.
*edited since I can't spell and to change the "she"s to "I"'s because dammit, I don't care if people know it was me*
[Edited on Mar 03, 2005 8:22AM]