thewineguy

Near and Far

Happiness is that elusive thing that seems so close one day and so far the next. Sometimes you grab hold of it, but like a cat it squirms out of your grasp and runs away. Sometimes you think if you just had one more good thing or one less bad thing you would be happy, but I find that is rarely the case in reality. A lot of happy be will tell you that it is all in your head but then you wake up to a shit filled reality that brings you down at every turn. Of course they are not all wrong, every depressed person I ever met had the worst case of tunnel vision. I didnt get x therefore my life is over. Their vision gets smaller and smaller until there are no solutions only more problems. That said, sometimes life really does throw a bunch of shit at you and you have to survive it. Im dealing with a lot of problems and it cost me my last relationship "because I wasnt fun anymore" and I dont even blame her because she was totally right. When she met me, I was funny, exciting, smart, and had loads of plans and ideas. After a few bad things went against me I was moody, mopey, and self obsessed. But in life we have to find our center. When things go wrong you have to get to your base. A slow moving stability that you can then add things to until you are ready to stand up again. That is where I am now. Im slowly standing back up. I know that this too shall pass, its not the end of the world, it doesnt make it easier but it does make it bearable. Im not grinning Im just bearing. And when the next ray of sunshine comes along I will bask in it.