Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

theviscokid

Grand Rapids

Member Since 2008

Followers 55 Following 302

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

A Short-ish rant.

Jul 16, 2020
5
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email

It's almost 11:30 and I am awash in mostly negative emotions. I am tired and irritable. I am depressed and lonely. I'm overheated and out of shape. I feel like absolute shit almost all of the time and it's all in my head. I hate my job and really cannot stand the culture there. I am so beyond annoyed with how people are acting during a fucking pandemic. I am sick of so much bad news. I am ashamed for our President. I am lonely. I haven't had sex in over 3 years and I forget the last time I had really good sex. I have no friends, no one close. I have nobody to talk to other than my psychologist and therapy isn't helping anymore. I don't want to be a zombie on meds, but I also don't want to be struck with a boatload of emotions all of the time either. Do you realize how many shows/movies make me cry nowadays?
I have no sense of "community" and since everything has been closed for so long now, I worry that we may forget what that word means. I am tired of always dreading what they next day/week/month will bring this year. I can't check the news anymore because of the constant parade of bullshit happening all over the world. I am exhausted by my imagination. I am trying to expand my horizons more, by using weed and all it has done is make me wonder who I would be now and how happier I could be, if maybe I hadn't wasted my 20s home alone every weekend. It wasn't entirely my fault, but I certainly didn't help. Now, I'm 41, divorced, alone, sitting in an apartment, eating pizza for the 3rd time in a week, in my underwear, wondering why I can't get a single match on any dating apps.
I feel like I am going insane sometimes, when I see how things are and how they could end up, if nothing changes, but I am always told not to worry by someone. That doesn't stop them from tossing a tantrum over their own views, but opinions and assholes, right? However, I know I am not the only one to have such an alarmist, fatalist, pessimistic view of the world, but one can't survive in an echo chamber. What always gets me is that if the things I worry about aren't important, then what is? I feel like I may as well just not care about anything then. I can't find that middle ground. It feels too much like an "Ignorance is bliss." state of mind, and I really hate how pretentious that makes me sound.

More Blogs

  • 08.11.20
    0

    Been making memes and Pixel Art.

    Imugr!
  • 08.10.20
    0

    Just do whatever makes you happy...

    This past weekend, my brother was once again trying to prop up my s…
  • 08.04.20
    0

    Head under water.

    Not sure what more else to say. I'm not terrible with my money, I d…
  • 08.04.20
    1

    I'm done feeling empathy over COVID.

    Granted, I'm not rooting for people to die and I do feel bad for th…
  • 07.31.20
    0

    Yeah, this sounds about right to me.

    https://youtu.be/NN41klNPKvA
  • 07.31.20
    0

    The reluctant activist.

    I'm not the most politically active person in the world. Sur…
  • 07.28.20
    0

    Ya'll Mutha-Fuckas need reason.

    So, I need to get something off my chest and quite frankly, I am no…
  • 07.25.20
    1

    Acting a goof, dancing and snacking in the kitchen, at the same as it…

  • 07.24.20
    0

    Latent racism is hilarious.

    My brother, who owns some Three Percenters clothing items, because …
  • 07.20.20
    0

    I don't even know what I want anymore.

    Long story short, it's been about three years since my divorce. I'v…

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
9
months
8
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,593 SuicideGirls
  • 1,120,514 followers
  • 14,920,612 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,392,861 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo