I have been talking briefly on here about my experiences and mostly failures when it comes to trying to meet someone and I am starting to wonder whether or not a relationship is the right thing for me or not. I struggle with meeting people and making friends, but there are times when I have moments of dumb luck, but they usually are fleeting.
Case in point, I have started talking to a girl who, by all accounts is legitimately who she says she is, that being a cam show girl. I have watched her show twice, but I have decided no longer to do so because we have begun talking quite a bit, daily in fact. Now, she says she lives in town, but there's plenty of convenient inconveniences that prevent her from wanting to meet, even though she says she wants to. She says she keeps talking to me because she enjoys doing so. The conversations are never sexual, she doesn't press me to send her money or view her cam, we just chat about our day or about a show we are watching. We have enjoyable and innocent conversations that have made me find her appealing beyond the fact that she is a cam girl. I said I wanted to stop, mainly to see if she'd stop talking to me but also because, if we are getting along and are at least "pen pals" at best, I don't want to bring money into the equation and I don't want to become more focused on her sexuality.
I can already hear people saying that I should pack up and run and that she is most likely scamming me, which I have had plenty of similar thoughts on. It's just that I do enjoy chatting with her and it is the closest thing I have to a friend right now. I may end up being disappointed, but for now I am enjoying having someone to chat with despite who it might be. I am being careful and not really investing too much faith into the situation. Still, I am a sucker and I need to be vigilant.
Then there's a new wrinkle in fabric of my love life. I posted in a subreddit recently, looking to meet new and like-minded people in my area. Not just for dating, not just for sex, but for whatever ends up happening and I got a response from a gal who is going to be in town next week. She said she'd be happy to meet for dinner and drinks and see where things go. I awkwardly asked what sort of things she'd be interested in and she admitted she was DTF if the mood is right. I have never been much of a player and I haven't had many one-night stands. I had a late start on everything related to dating so I am much less experienced than most men my age (40). I told this woman that I am totally fine with whatever she feels comfortable with. If it's just a quick bite to eat and conversation, I am down. If she wants me to sleep over, I am game. Of course, she could be a serial killer too, but at this point I'd welcome it, just to feel something again. #SuddenDarkness
All kidding aside, I just have no idea what I am doing and at this point, I may as well say yes to everything and see what sticks. If I feel like something isn't right, trust my instincts, but beyond that... YOLO, right? Do people still say YOLO? I have no idea.