thevagrant

dear men: there is always some other guy that she knew long before you, and whom she likes more. she calls him every now and then and tells him about you, about how youre okay and sweet and everything. she doesnt give him any excessive details. she just needs that better man to breathe on the other end of the line for a moment every few months.


dear ladies: he loves someone else. shes probably a terrible little thing, she probably did awful things to him, and he still wants to pork her brains out. probably her sister, too, since it would piss her off.

these are the things you never tell the SO.