theuberdork

so do you have any nice emo lyrics to share? share away. -> I hate going to these kinds of things it just reminds me that I'm single and not quite loving it... like I suppose I should... I guess I'm just kinda freaking out they were together for 6 years and tied the knot... I think my longest relationship has been maybe 2 months....

get used and/or abused. then dumped.

0 for what 5? I dunno

someone get me outta this life.


Update:
so it's tuesday now 2 days later... I'm supposed to be looking for work. but I don't know I don't know where to look my resume and things have all been posted on monster.com and all other places I can think of. it's just like no one wants to hire me.

my parents think I can just go get a typical 9-5 monday through friday job without a degree. sure I have a highschool education but seriously a NORMAL job isn't happening without some higher education. they bring up how my sister has one.... well no shit she got her bachelor degree in english a year ago .... what the hell y'know? what have I done? squeaked through a few years of junior college? while trying to maintain jobs, friendships, a life.... they have no idea what it's like these days... my mom stays at home and "cleans the house" seriously none of my friends parents stay home... everyone I know works... I mean their parents both have jobs and both work their cans off.... my parents are so OUT OF TOUCH with reality. that it actually makes it hard to live. I know I would be so much happier ... be doing better if not at least I'd be learning how to survive on my own.... if I could get the hell out of here.

now on a side note... I miss my friend and his family... I spent a week with them just a few weeks ago then there was getting ready for his wedding.

I've always had a bit of a crush on his sisters... one of them is engaged... the other just turned 18. I am so bad. I shouldn't want to date or be with either of them right? I mean they're almost like my sisters.... I dunno I don't like alot of the guys they're with they could do better.... but then the same goes for my friend who is now married I feel he could have done better... and I'm not alone in that feeling all the groomsmen felt that way... but he made up his mind and that's what he wants I'll stick by him. it's not about what I want... it's about what he wants.

what I do want... is something I don't think I'll ever have, as I don't think I'll ever be happy enough with myself.

I don't want sex I don't want to get laid. I just want to relax, and be happy... which to me involves a girl that is stuningly gorgeous, cute, smart, and funny, and even sometimes just a little silly/strange. that's part of it... the other part is doing something I like for a career... getting paid to do something I enjoy... I'm not sure that job exists.

look at me I don't even know what the hell to do with myself and I don't have the added stress of a girl right now... how could I handle that and everything else!?



I want to go to school I want to be in film school and know that money is not an issue. jobless= no money = stress. bottomeless pit of self hatred here I come!