I come home and there is no wife. I fucked up bad this time. I just wanna open the door and have her there, wanting a kiss from me. I smothered her because I thought I was losing her. I could feel her not liking me and becoming increasingly annoyed with me. I was not feeling well and she left me when I needed her most of all. She says that men don't cry. They are supposed to supress it. That's what "men" do. If she knew what it felt like to know that I was a mistake and that I was not even supposed to be born she might understand how useless I feel on this planet. But I found her. On this planet I found someone who I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. Things didn't seem so bad. Things seemed OK. Now she's gone and I don't feel Ok anymore. Back to just being me. I'm not that into me, I was more into us. The power couple. Kickboxing roools. I love you all. Be good to yourselves. 