thetrooper

i'm going 2 say this now. I CAN'T SPELL
but i need 2 get this out of me

Today i realized that i am a fucking nobody.
I do nothing all day.
All my "friends" do is get high and drink.
They all think it's ok too, and my friend Ryan, has the worst problem of all of them. He drink all the time and it's like ppl like him more when he drikns. But thoes ppl are dumb and don't care for him. I do and i feel like i'm looesing him.

i've lost the one person that was my hole life!
she was everything, that might be bad but i don't care.
two years and i still love her, i still crave her. I love you Bella...
but i know i am the only one to blame for what she is doing. i am the olny thing that she doesn't need. i bring her down with my free time and i kill her with my jelousy.
i am trying, i swar..
i am trying for you!

but i saw the hole world 2night and saw she was drity. she is emty. she is mine.

but so i don't die out of the hell i'm in i need to know she loves me.
loves me for me.
loves the way i care
loves the way i would die for her
and most of all knows i would walt awy right now if she cant love me now.
i just want 2 know she love me i guess...
i really don't know what 2 do
i hate what i am, and i am trying for you


"And after all this time you'd think I'd understand the way you feel
But no
I only think about myself
And it's driving you away
I always knew it would one day"